Devon Guide - Day Two

Back in November I promised to write a guide to my week in Devon. Unfortunately after writing up Day One my hard drive died and I lost all my work. However I’ve decided now is time to try and carry on this look at our week down South.

On Day Two we left Exmouth again to journey to Paignton. I had visited this small town with my parents in 1995 and looked forward to returning. Our first stop was Paignton Zoo. I was sceptical at first, the last Zoo visit with my girlfriend had been a sheer disappointment however Paignton Zoo was far far superior. The animal enclosures were large and sprawling with good viewing areas. The animals seemed happy and there was plenty of information dotted around the park. The park itsself was modern and tranquil, a haven for wildlife and a novel approach to exhibiting the wildlife meant you could actually walk through some enclosures.





The zoo was established in 1923 and in the last 10 years has changed dramatically to display animals and plant-life in six different naturalistic habitat areas. What also amazed me were some houses that backed right on to the zoo. How amazing must it be to throw open your bedroom curtains every morning to be greeted by grazing camels or the chatter of monkeys!

Following our Zoo tour we journeyed into Paignton. It seems my childhood memories of a sunny smiley seaside town were somewhat hazy. We were greeted with a grey dreary rundown town. The main street I remembered as a parade of shops topped of by a railway cutting past Woolworths turned out to be row upon row of tacky novelty shops. When I was 15 it seemed cool to have a train blocking the top of the road every ten minutes. Now it seemed an annoyance. We trekked through the town and found the watering hole, The Inn On The Green, that I fondly remembered utilising with my parents. Sadly they didn’t serve afternoon meals so hunger forced us to the nearest KFC.






As the skies open and fatigue from the long walk around the Zoo took a hold we decided to head back to Exmouth. A flash of inspiration halfway home found us journeying into Exeter in search of the Megabowl. We spent a fun hour bowling in a very nice bowling centre before returning to the hotel for a boozy evening in the bar.

Birthdays...

Happy birthday today goes to my girlfriend, Jenny! Much love to you, but why oh why so close to St Valentines! Grrr!

Randomness

Please, please, please for my own sanity when you knock down all the pins on your first bowl it is called a Strike. When you do it on your second ball it is a spare. It is not, never will be and never has been an 'half-strike'. Got that? Good. Oh and please stop dumping your stinking shoes on front of the reception desk right in front of my nose - put them on the side of the desk, yes that's right the side. Next to that sign that says 'please return shoes HERE.'

Life would be so much simpler would that customers follow these two simple rules.


Oh and today - good news I finally made my own Mocha that tasted equal with that of Starbucks. Perhaps my Irn Bru cold turkey will be easier to handle.

Barrs Barred

There has been an ironically cruel twist of fate…

The company that supplies mine with its Irn Bru announced this week it will ‘de-list’ the product when its current stock runs out. This means, in turn we will no longer be stocking Irn Bru!! Arrrgh!

One of the technicians, another manager and I are the only ones bothered by the situation. We want to start a revolution (ironically the name of the ride Irn Bru sponsors at Black pool Pleasure Beach - the same ride that famous Jim'll Fix It was carried out on for a group of cub scouts!) but it seems we are being punished for such thoughts. Oh well as long as Tesco doesn’t decide to end sales of Irn Bru I suppose I will have to suffice.


Dumb Question Of The Week;
Perhaps you had to be there but I did have an embarrassing fit of the giggles upon my weekly KFC visit today. A customer came in walked straight up to the counter and asked. “Can I have some chicken please?” The look upon the staff members face was priceless and the look that only a restaurant which sells nothing but chicken could give in return to said request.

It's about time...

 

Yes I am still upset about Enterprise being cancelled but as one visitor pointed out I should be happy that the other great Science Fiction franchise is returning this year. Yes in Mid-March Dr. Who returns to our screens, and how cool do the Daleks look! It's like Pimp My Robot with all that bling!

 

Boldly Gone...

It really is the end of an era – especially, if like me, you’re a Trekker.

Yesterday it was announced that Star Trek: Enterprise will be finishing at the end of this, its fourth season. Okay, that’s not so bad. Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager all finished. What’s worrying is that this time as Enterprise finishes nothing will replace it. It is the first time since 1987 that no new televisual Star Trek will be in production. That’s 17 years and over 620 episodes coming to an end.

Part of me is glad. In the last few years the franchise has been looking tired and Nemesis, in my view, is one of the worst Trek films. It is the fact that I’ve been following the voyages of the Enterprise, Voyager and Defiant since I was 7 means that it’s going to seem like a void not to have a regular dose of new episodes. Yes I have the DVDs and I will relish the opportunity to really get to know the old episodes as I don’t have to worry about keeping up to date and despite a certain amount of relief that the tired voyages of Captain Archer have now ended I’m already anticipating the time that Paramount announce the return of Star Trek.

Live Long & Prosper.

Reviewing The Fockers

I’d been looking forward to Meet The Fockers for sometime. The first film, Meet The Parents, was thoroughly enjoyable and after numerous DVD rewatches I was highly anticipating the sequel. It was great to see the characters in a fresh story but sadly it didn’t seem as pleasant as the original. The pace slower and there seemed to be a lot of missed opportunity. Also there was the introduction of Jack’s grandson. While he had mild comic value the youngster soon started to grate through overuse. Why does Hollywood feel the need for cute kids in films and TV shows?

Gaylords parents, played by Dustin Hoffman & Barbara Streisand were brilliant – in fact all the acting was great it’s just the film seemed slow and overlong. Also it seemed to lack a purpose with the movie stopping rather than ending. I hope the rumoured part three, ‘Little Fockers’, never materialises as it will serve to only further dilute what was a wonderful original.

A Storm Bruing

My plan to boost Irn Bru to the status of a truly recognised soft drink may have been thwarted last night. Not only is our soda fountain malfunctioning at work meaning the rivers of Bru have run dry but I have also discovered the taste of brand new Pepsi Max twist. It’s the brown stuff infused with Lemon & Lime and it’s very, very yummy.

Sorry Barrs, you’re on your own...

Let's Stamp Out Drinkism

After just sampling KFC yummy mini-fillet I decided I wanted a drink. Sadly like all other fast food boutiques unless you like brown stuff or clear stuff you don’t have much choice in the liquid refreshment area. Quite frankly I have had enough. I think it is time we united and started a soft drink cause. The aim? To get the lurid glowing orange liquid, made in Scotland from Girders, known as Irn Bru the recognition it deserves. In Scotland it is a recognised hang over cure. In Russia it is one of the most popular soft drinks yet in England it seems to lag. Yes it may be full of sugar and yes it may be an unnatural colour but it is also very refreshing and, I feel, would go will with fast food meals in golden arches and finger licking good joints around the country.


It’s not only Fast Food that snubs this great drink. Pubs don’t offer it on their hideous drink guns (which always seem to alter the taste of your favourite brands) and supermarkets seem almost embarrassed to sell it. Rows upon rows of the dark brown liquid and just six or so bottles of Irn Bru hidden away at the end of the shelf. Even the Government once shunned Irn Bru. During World War 2, Irn Bru was not recognised as a "standard drink" by the Government, so disappeared from the shelves of shops for the duration of the war.


I’m proud to say that my constant pestering of my bar manager finally convinced them to stock it where I work – which has made my lunch breaks a happier time. Do you know what? It’s selling better than the clear liquid, 1 up from 6 that it replaced!

So Irn Bru fans unite, the movement starts here!

Some more Irn Bru Facts

Celebrating A Life

A sad week this week – Just over a week ago my girlfriend received the awful news that her gran had died. Thursday just gone we buried her. Attending the funeral was fascinating for me. I’ll openly say I have no personal interest in religion but to experience my first ever Catholic service I’m glad to say I quite enjoyed – despite the sombre occasion.

Firstly the church was stunning, though I’m not a big fan of religion I do admire its architecture. It was a large church with ugly large grey blocks on the outside, what made it stand out was it’s huge domed roof. Inside it was gleaming white walls with the dome a stunning rich blue with a few golden stars. There was marble everywhere, and, unlike a lot of churches it was warm and welcoming.

Secondly the service was personal. It is only my second funeral but I’ve heard horror stories of clergymen preaching the bible rather than celebrate the life of whom the congregation are meant to be mourning. No the service was a lot more personal and I felt closer to ‘grannie’ thanks to it.

The burial was the tear jerking moment. Seeing my girlfriend & her family so upset was painful and led to my eyes watering – though this may have also been brought on by one of the coffin bearers just escaping slipping 6ft under.

There was also the Vicar’s overuse of the word ‘dust’ which just had me thinking of Little Britain’s Fat Fighting classes. (Don’t worry I kept that to myself, well until now..)
Finally the Wake, which took place at the school the dearly departed had founded. Again it was perfect with family members laughing, joking and sharing happy memories – how it should be.
It’s scary though how funerals make you realise how little time you have on this planet but if can achieve even half as much as ‘grannie’ did in her life I will be a happy man.

WTF?!

What was the advertising copyrighter thinking when they thought – I know, Diet Coke…. Turtle. Diet Coke Turtle. Seriously what is the link? Next we’ll have porcupine’s advertising cheese and Black and Decker drills being advertised by elephants.

Weird.

The Coolest Girl...

Becky is the coolest girl in the world.

Well I had to post something didn't I, and that was her suggestion. I will however do a more expanded update ASAP, so don't worry I haven't collapsed into a gutter of the festive period!

Twas The Noon Before Xmas

I’m on such a low at the moment. I’ve just come from the radio station where I’ve completed my fortnight long stint as late breakfast show host. I was on such a high, and now the contrast of emotions is weird.

I’m unhappy because I’m no longer a radio DJ and I’m unhappy because I’ve neglected this Blog! Hopefully the near future will bring some more radio work, I’ve already stuff lined up but it all seems so far far away.

It’s weird to feel so down on Xmas Eve which is normally one of my favourite days of the year hopefully meeting up with old friends over the next few hours will right my ways but until then normal life just seems bland compared to the whirlwind of the last few weeks.

Smeg On Air

So what was that exciting news from the other day? Well I didn’t jinx it and I have now done something that I’ve wanted to do for years. I’ve had a go at radio. A brand new local radio station launched last week so I emailed offering to help – I expected to do some behid the scenes stuff and work my way up but on the first day they gave me an on-air audition. Whatever I did I seemed to do it OK as I have had two slots since – yesterday I was on air for four hours. I’m awaiting call back for later this week but have loved every minute!

On another bright note my run of good Christmas gigs continues. Friday night was a blinder with the dance floor full throughout the night. Yesterday, although we had smaller numbers, again I kept the floor alive! Friday: 9/10 Saturday 8/10

Itching To Say...

My head is spinning with a dizzying amount of contrasting emotions at the moment;. Fear, Joy, Nervousness & Excitement are all rampaging through my brain. I want to tell you all and shout out the exciting news but at the same time I don’t want to say much in case things fall through.
One of my ambitions in life has always been to work in radio. Not to be famous, but just because the thought of sitting there and sharing music with people excites me. Tomorrow, I might have the opportunity to do just that as I’ve been invited down to a new local radio station that is starting up. I’ll fill you in as soon as I can, but for now – wish me luck!

PC Worl.. Won't

So last week my PC died – the hard drive corrupted. I took it to PC world and asked for it to be fixed. "Sorry we don’t fix PC’s here" said the patronising Italian technician. "So why is there a huge sign above your head advertising PC Repairs from £50?" I inquired. He didn’t answer me properly and just started rabbiting on about the hotline number I should ring. He told me I had a virus and patronised me by telling me I should have virus protection as the net is a dangerous place. Then he told me not to worry. Not to worry? I’ve only lost all my data, hey no worries.
So if your PC breaks down don’t bother with PC World, apparently they don’t fix PCs….

Djing on an open fire.

This weekend saw my first corporate Christmas functions. In theory Xmas dos are easy money. People are there to party – nothing else. Also the age range isn’t as wide as family parties. You have no toddlers, no kids requesting Busted, no stroppy teens requesting awfulness like Scooter and Three of a Kind and no over 60s who think they’re being cool requesting Agadoo. Instead you have an age range of 18 to 50ish meaning it is easier to target the music you play. Also as it isn’t a family gathering the punters are keener to dance rather than spending hours catching up. It should be easy right?

Wrong.

The problem is you are governed by the catering team and have to wait until all the food is served before the volume is cranked up. With up to 160 people being fed this means one half of the room finish first and get bored waiting for me to start and thus start to leave for the local clubs. This year I’ve got a few games up my sleeve – play your cards right, mystery years etc which is helping to combat last years mass desertion. So far I’ve had my third best Xmas gig ever. Friday was 8/10 and Saturday 7/10. (Sorry but the 2001 Chelt Xmas ball and 2001 Ford Corporate bash at Cheltenham Racecourse topped this weekend!)

I've Missed You

Typical, another week where Smeg hasn't posted. Why does he even bother having a Blog when he doesn't maintain it? Well I really wanted to, I was planning a while series of posts about my Devon exploits then - last Saturday morning my hard drive died. Everything I'd ever done on PC lost forever....

It's weird losing a computer. I kept telling myself to back everything up but never did and thus now in this world of communication and data I was dataless.

I missed having access - for a while week I had to fight the urge to flick on the PC - even if I did I'd be greeted with a blue screen. Every day I'd make mental notes top check something out online a trivial fact hear a world event there. For 5 whole days I didn't have the luxury.

Oh and there's my experience with PC World, but I'll tell you about that tomorrow. Tonight I'm off to DJ my first corporate Xmas party. Jingle Bells...

Devon Guide - Day One

Today we trekked the hour and a bit journey from our Exmouth hotel to Plymouth. I had been warned by a friend about this historical city. He said it was a dump and was bound to offer some miserable experiences. Entering the city certainly seemed to prove his opinion. It was grotty. Grey and industrial everywhere. We voyaged into Plymouth past an odd looking Sainsbury’s and a mass of pampas grass.

Our first stop was at the National Marine Aquarium. This huge modern building dominates the harbour and was funded largely by a Lotto grant. This building is dedicated to educating the masses about water, oceans and marine life.

The displays were stunning – far superiors to many aquariums I’ve visited before. It even holds Europe’s largest tank. A dizzying 10.5 metres deep, the tank holds 2.5 million litres of warm seawater, including the adjoining life support systems, this volume increases to 3.3 million litres. The tank is especially designed to house a wide range of creatures from circling sharks to stealthy moray eels. There is also a second panoramic Atlantic Reef set in a hall that makes it look like something out of a 007 film. The rich blues and variety of colours from the sea life made staring at these huge walls of water a hypnotic experience.

After spending the morning there and enjoying one of the tastiest burgers I’ve ever eaten at a waterfront bar we ventured into Plymouth for some Xmas Shopping. The centre was undergoing a massive redevelopment scheme but even with that amount of disturbance I found the City to be a clean and pleasant experience – far from the grot I was expecting thanks to my friends advice. We did have the worst Mocha ever from Plymouth Costa but we also got loads of stuff from the huge Debenhams store. We had wanted to visit Plymouth Dome and Smeaton’s Tower, but sadly they were closed.

In the evening we headed back towards the Hoe and the Plymouth Gin Distillery this was a fascinating tour around the distillery and included some samples and history of the product. We even sat in the bar that the Pilgrim Father’s sat in on the eve of setting sail in the Mayflower to America.

After this we made the return trip back to Exmouth after enjoying a great day out. Plymouth had a lot to offer the average tourist and we were annoyed that the Dome – an interactive history of Plymouth – was closed. Still it gives us a reason to make a return visit!

Possibly the best gig of the year last night, the atmosphere just clicked and whatever I played just worked, I managed to get the atmosphere to go up and down and work the crowd well and felt quite chuffed with my self. I would have awarded last night the first ever 10/10 of 2004 except for the usual moron who didn't understand that a severe shift in the style of music would dampen things. This meant with just half an hour to go I all most emptied the dance floor - just 6 people left. Luckily I put things back on track and by the end everyone was having a good knees up to New York New York. It's not often I come home feeling completely happy with the evening but last night was pretty much there! 9.47 out of 10!