Band On The Run

So you’re in a band. You’ve spent years of hard work getting where you are.

6 years ago you formed the band hosting a few shambolic gigs at school and mates birthday parties. Slowly but surely you practice and practice until your covers start sounding like the songs they actually are. Eventually after 18 months you get a booking by a local pub to entertain the drunken revellers that aren’t outside smoking. After a year of this you’re getting more confident, you start to introduce some songs you’ve written yourself.

Now you’re at the point where you can book small hall somewhere and do your own gig – people actually paying to come and see you. Word spreads, first 50 odd people come, the following gig you’re almost into three figures. It’s been three long hard years of loading and unloading transit vans, practising in a cold garage somewhere and scraping together the pennies to buy that 2nd hand amplifier.

The hall gigs pay off and you just about have enough money to book a local studio to record an EP. You start whoring this at your gigs which are now attracting more people. The content has moved from 90% covers to 50%. Heck you even brave an acapella section that gets you much applause.

This journey has taken 4 or so years by this point. Perhaps you’ve had a falling out, one band member leaving after a row, perhaps changing your name once. You can’t remember the last time you got to bed before 4am on a Friday or Saturday but you don’t care it’s your music, your passionate about it.

Finally you attract a small bit of press attention. NME writes two or three lines about a recent local bands festival you played at, you didn’t even know they were there but they say you stole the show.

After 5 long years a man approaches you after a gig, he’s seen the NME report, he wants to sign you to his small record label. You go for it and before you know it your EP hits iTunes. Your gigs are starting to attract more people and you’re actually starting to make some money. After a while a larger record company signs you. They want you to support one of their smaller bands – someone like Pigeon Detectives or Scouting For Girls on tour.

On the back of this tour a single is released – people actually buy it – you enter the charts, it’s only at number 47 but you’re getting there. Another year passes and following Radio 1 play, more tour supporting, perhaps someone bigger like the Feeling you’ve hit the top 20. It’s taken 6 long hard years you’ve honed your sound, you have fans and momentum is growing.

The record company wants you to record a Xmas single – really push for it. You do, it’s hugely popular, mass sales and radio airplay. You tune into the chart show to hear if you’re Xmas number one and what happens? You’re pipped at the post my some twat who 6 months ago was a till operator in McDonalds. Did he spend 6 years working long and hard? Did he write his own stuff and endlessly practice with no professional help? Does he truly appreciate the work needed to get anywhere in the music industry? Nope he just won a shitty TV karaoke contest hosted by Simon ‘I love myself’ Cowell. It’s not even his own song and to be honest he’s still fairly shit anyway.

This is why the X Factor has to stop. Manufactured music is great – I love pop it serves a purpose, it brings fun to music but it shouldn’t dominate the real talent, the real bands who’ve worked long and hard to get where they are. Think of all the shit that has polluted the charts like a pop Chernobyl thanks to ITV in recent years. Cheeky Girls, Hear’Say, Gareth Gates, One True Voice, G4, Michelle McManus – it’s all samey bland wank.

It’s also interesting to note that the only people to have succeeded long term are those that cast off the karaoke shackles of X-Factor/Pop Idol and recorded their own stuff – namely Will Young and Girls Aloud.

Please, please, please British record buying public see sense. X Factor is preventing true home grown talent getting the airtime and chart success it deserves. The UK is home to many, many great bands that don’t need Cowell’s smug nod of approval to get anywhere.

Give them a chance to shine and banish the likes of Leon and Rhydian to the bargain bin.

Summer Anthems

Since beginning my life as a party DJ back in 1999 I’ve noticed that every years there is one song that becomes the anthem of the summer.

1999 – ATB 9pm (‘Til I Come)
2000 – Spiller Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love)
2001 – Kylie Can’t Get You Out Of My Head
2002 – Elvis Vs JXL Little Less Conversation
2003 – Beyonce Crazy In Love
2004 – Eric Prydz Call On Me
2005 – Pussycat Dolls Don’t Cha
2006 – Gnarls Barkley Crazy
2007 – Rihanna Umbrella

Each time these songs become the sound of the summer. They are the most requested songs that year – usually still so when it comes to my Xmas bookings. Every year there are close contenders. 2000 also gave us Rock DJ, 2006 had Scissor Sisters I Don’t Feel Like Dancing etc. This year I was certain that Amerie Gotta Work would be the sound of summer 2007. It’s cracking brass riff and R&B beats quite reminiscent of Beyonce’s Crazy In Love. I was wrong. Umbrella came from nowhere to claim its, to date, 9 week run. Personally it’s the first summer anthem I’ve not enjoyed. I just find it dull, it’s almost as if it never gets going. It’s feels a tad to slow and lacks the uplifting feel that the summer anthem should have.

Of course, in reflection it’s perfect for this year. Here we are in mid July and 2007 is the summer that never was. Rihanna’s rain dance certainly sums up the feeling of the nation and thus despite my loathing of it is possibly the most perfect summer anthem ever.

Rudebox Paradox

Rudebox has been slated by the general media. I feel this negativity has come purely on the back of the actual single ‘Rudebox’ which certainly wasn’t Robbie at his best. The press have used this to totally rip into the whole album. The truth however is that it’s actually a damn fine effort. Look at Love Light, A cracking tune. A cover, yes, but Robbie’s performance could be easily compared to George Michael. Then there is the stunning current single ‘She’s Madonna’. Not only the best track on Rudebox but one of Robbie’s best singles full stop.

It’s not all Rudebox has to offer. The album sags slightly mid-way with ‘Keep On’, ‘The Actor’ & ‘Never Touch That Switch’. Not that the tracks are essentially bad but placed together they’re just a tad samey. ‘Good Doctor’ is a stand out track in that it’s so different. It’s Rudebox in style but so much better - and very relevant.

‘Bongo Bong’ is fantastic because it’s just so damn catchy. Then there’s the truly haunting ‘Burslem Normals’. Beautiful. Dreamy music and breathy vocals, it stopped me dead the first time I heard the album.

Kiss Me is blinding – especially when, you have the opportunity to play it on a night club sound system. Cracking bass and I far prefer it to Stephen Duffy’s original version.

There’s the two part song/story ‘The 80s’ & ‘The 90s’. I dunno. These are the two that have just never hooked me. I prefer the 90s by miles but I suppose that’s because I’ve never been convinced by Robbie The Rapper as featured on ‘The 80s’.

Summertime ends the album with an average ballad… oh and then there’s the bonus track. Which I can’t say anything about other than I just can’t stand it.

Rudebox is a more testing album than any Robbie Williams has ever released, but it is no where near the disaster that popular opinion claims it to be. It’s just different. Yes I said that about Intensive Care but this album takes the experimentation to another level. And hey it’s a good thing. Robbie could just keep releasing similar sounding songs and get surefire number ones every time.

Look at Oasis. Good band yes, but have they actually ever done anything new or experimented with their sound at all? Nope. Essentially their latest singles could have been Oasis material from 10 years ago. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing – just a boring one. Oasis claim they’re the greatest band in the world but I’d argue they’re in the same league as Status Quo – a band surviving off the same riffs and chords all the time.

Queen & Beatles, for better or for worse were both groups that changed their sound. I can’t stand like the man but even Justin Timberlake is trying out new things and I respect him for that. Robbie’s Rudebox is worth listening too just for the fact that he’s trying something new. He’s in a place where he can afford to experiment and try different stuff. He’s got nothing to prove, he’s already done that with his back catalogue.

So to those of you who argue that pop music is boring go and buy Rudebox. Cast off any preconceptions and enjoy and album that amazes, (She’s Madonna, Lovelight, Burslem Normals) annoys (Rudebox & Dickhead) and entertains. (Bongo Bong & Kiss Me.)