Cars

“You mean you can’t drive? How do you get around?!” is the oft cry I hear from many a people upon discovering my inability to control a motor vehicle. They seem shocked when I tell tales of walking or cycling everywhere.
“Walk?! But it’s up hill and it takes at least fifteen minutes!” Was one utterance of exasperation I’ve had when describing my journey home. Oh no, fifteen minutes – so inconvenient. I enjoy it though it’s like a buffer between work and home Time to gather thoughts, reflect, plan your evening meal or just hum along to the iPod.
Still this is nothing compared to the disgust I get when I tell people that I use (get ready for this) public transport…

“But you must always be late, it’s dirty, expensive, hot and now thanks to 7/7 it could even spell certain death.” To be honest I no longer use the public transport around town. That, I agree is ridiculously expensive for such comparatively short journeys. However people who rely on cars seem completely oblivious to the fact that public transport is actually relatively cheap and reliable, especially over long distance. In three years of travelling back and forth to university the bus was only late twice – once because it got stuck in a major traffic jam which would have effected me had I been in my own car anyway. I used to relish the 90 minutes journey – sheer escapism often to the sounds of Mark & Lard (when Radio 1 mid-afternoon was good) through gorgeous Herefordshire/Gloucestershire countryside.

Recently I travelled to Birmingham by train. The carriage was clean, comfortable I had a seat and the air con was lovely and refreshing. The train was bang on time through all its stops and I got to the centre of Brum without the hassle and expense of finding parking. On the way back however the train broke down – this lead to an hour delay. Cries of disgust from many a passenger. I shrugged it off and enjoyed an hour wandering around Worcester where we’d stopped. No big deal.

So next time you need to take a journey why not think twice about your own car. Help save pollution and fight the continuing price rise of oil by going on public transport – it’s not nearly as crap as its image would make believe.

Intensive Comments

When I started this blog I made an unwritten rule that I’d never respond to any comments left. Mainly because I didn’t think I’d get any but also because my blog is my chance to air my opinion and the comments box is the chance to air yours – if they’re different even better because that gives the reader something to ponder over. However the anonymous poster of the following message about my Robbie Williams album review has really angered me;

Think you are talking out your arse, this is such a personal album touching upon many a fan, almost taking a 360, his first album reflected so much, this does exactly the same, if you want the last album, go and buy it again... people like you should not try to criticise as you really can't accept change... this album is fucking amazing.... move on you drip!

What angers me is that this commenter has obviously not actually read my blog in full. The first part of the review was based solely on the first listen to the album – in all honesty I didn’t enjoy the album as much as first listens to other Robster albums.. however if the commenter had bothered to read on they would have seen that I argued exactly the points they have i.e;

Commenter: “people like you should not try to criticise as you really can't accept change”

My Review: “So to sum up this is a more challenging album for Robbie fans – but to be honest I’m glad. I’d rather he try out new sounds and new ideas, there are far too many bands that keep releasing the same stuff in the same key with the same chords.”

There – in black and white, (well black & grey) I said I’m glad Intensive Care had a different sound… It’s brave and the change is good.

Commenter: Think you are talking out your arse, this is such a personal album touching upon many a fan

My review: Verdict: I love it! Album of the year for me so far putting Kaiser Chiefs into second place. Even the covers tarot theme perfectly captures the thoughtful feel to Intensive Care.

So perhaps Mr Anonymous should read stuff properly before jumping to conclusions. If you must know Intensive Care is the only thing I have played on my iTunes this week apart from Zero 7 and the Chris Moyles Podcast… and only because that had an interview with Prince Of Pop himself.

Intensive Listening

Thanks to the wonder that is play.com I received my copy of Robbie Williams’ new album, Intensive Care, 48 hours before its actual release. As a fan of the Robster I was delighted but is it any good?

Popular opinion on the first single ‘Tripping’ is divided. I’m in the ‘love it’ camp preferring it to last years ‘Radio’ so I was looking forward to the album. First play however was disappointing. It felt wishy-washy. Robbie’s albums always seem to consist of a fine balance of good upbeat singalongs and brilliant ballads. This album seemed to hover somewhere in the middle. But then came the final two tracks; ‘A Place To Crash’ is an extremely catchy rocky song more in the traditional Robbie vein – it’s followed up with ‘King Of Bloke of Bird’ which is a perfect balance and the last 30 seconds provide a gorgeous instrumental end to the album.

Hearing these two great tracks inspired me to have an immediate second listen. Straight away ‘Ghosts’ stood out much more but the song that really grabbed me was ‘Advertising Space’

After a few listens I’m finding ‘Make Me Pure’ a brilliant track, almost up there with ‘Better Man’

Robbie has this unusual ability to create ‘growers’ – tracks that take a number of airings to ‘click’. It was the same with ‘Rock DJ’ and ‘Come Undone’ but it is Intensive Care that demonstrates this ability more than ever before. I was Djing last night and I’m glad to say ‘A Place To Crash’ got the dance floor filled – a potential Robbie smash there.

This morning the first thing I did was put the album on – I can’t get the tunes out of my head though the only track that isn’t growing is ‘Spread Your Wings’ – the backing track sounds like one of the instrumentals from Channel 4’s Supernanny and the way Robbie speaks the lyrics it sounds like an attempt at recapturing Escapology’s brilliant ‘Me & My Monkey’.

So to some up this is a more challenging album for Robbie fans – but to be honest I’m glad. I’d rather he try out new sounds and new ideas, there are far too many bands that keep releasing the same stuff in the same key with the same chords. Robbie may loose some long time fans with Intensive Care but I think he’ll gain new ones too.

Verdict: I love it! Album of the year for me so far putting Kaiser Chiefs into second place. Even the covers tarot theme perfectly captures the thoughtful feel to Intensive Care. It’s a different sound but it’s not the disaster all the Guy Chambers fans were predicting – a success and I look forward to more Williams/Duffy collaborations.

More Crisp Talk

I’ve talked before about my love of salty potato based snacks or crisps as they’re more normally known. Pringles used to be the daddy for me. However the last few years have seen that respect eroded with the addition of dodgy flavours. Paprika and Smoky Bacon are both over-salty nightmares with a harsh aftertaste. Mexican Salsa was awful and the new Sweet Chilli taste very synthetic. The two new flavours I loved – Pizza & Curry were both withdrawn with only a years shelf life. The one success has been marvellous - Hot & Spicy flavour.

Luckily Walkers came into the frame with Sensations. I was suspicious at first but their superior taste and flavours have won me over. Balsamic Onion & Vinegar is gorgeous, as is the minted lamb. The new pork and mustard flavour is delicious and then, of course, there’s the don of Sensations. Thai Sweet Chilli. Far superior to Pringle’s offering no synthetic aftertaste instead there’s that lovely warm, sweet sensation over your tongue.

Last night though I was pleasantly surprised by a new addition to the Pringles Dippas range – Thai Green Curry. After the recent experience with their other Thai flavour I was suspicious but gladly it seems Pringles have finally produced a nice flavour – It is reminiscent of the old Curry flavour but with slightly more of a kick. Now all they have to do is bring back Cheese’Ums and I’ll be a happy man!

Why Do I Hoard?

While moving house I discovered a strange thing about myself. I keep a lot of crap. An oversized £10 note. A Friends mobile phone holder. The cinema tickets for every film I went to see between 1998 and 2003. My old student ID cards, birthday cards. Boxes for various Star Trek memorabilia. All the number 1 CD singles between 1997 and 2002 as well as a multitude of other singles despite now having them all again on various compilation albums. Tickets to see Robot Wars live and Star Trek Voyager Calendars from 1996-2002. I’ve got all the Comic Relief red noses ever, my school uniform. A CD rack I never use. Awful GCSE woodwork projects. Every issue of the Beano 1987-1999. Why? Most of it is sentimental, I can attach happy memories with many of these objects, people, places names and faces. I have the memories though so why do I need that physical attachment? My girlfriend oft describes me as sentimental and nostalgic. I still cherish my Ghostbusters toys and my Sega Megadrive. I still love my Voyager VHS collection despite now having the lot on far superior DVD. Now I am moving out of the parents into my own home it is time to cast of some of these possessions away. There’s a fortune to be made on ebay with a lot of it I’m sure but it’s just so hard to say goodbye.

Hobbies & Not Having Any...

I haven’t got a hobby. I hate that. Sometimes I sit there on a boring evening and ponder what to do. I can spend hours showing Bowser what for on the Gamecube or DS. I can waste aeons browsing the web or reading a good book. Some evenings and afternoons I while away the hours volunteering my time to Hospital Radio. Then there’s the DVD collection – oooh how I love to sit in front of a glowing box watching the digital data on a shiny disk be translated for my pleasure. None of these though are proper hobbies. This came to my attention when updating my CV. What do I put under the title ‘Hobby’
I’d love something old school. Trainspotting? Hey I’m already a Trekker – that’s geeky enough. Stamp Collecting? Hmm costs money – now I have that oh-so-heavy mortgage hanging above my head the hobby has to be cheap. Model Building? Tried that when I was younger, my nose and the warp nacelle of the Enterprise-D became quite attached… no thanks.
It’s a man thing though isn’t it? I mean, Hobbies. You see very few women in the local Steam appreciation society. I was once told (I think I was told, It could, perhaps, have come from Wilson on ‘Home Improvement’) that the male need for a hobby, to be creative, is because of an unconscious jealousy of the females ability to create new life inside her. Sort of makes sense. I do a lot of stuff with my spare time – Roller Coaster appreciation is another thing I could count for myself but it all sounds so different. “Hobbies: Reading, Writing, Internet, Gaming and Rollercoasters..”

The Spectre of Entertainment

I have long believed that the BBC are the best producers of television in the world. While many independent media stations and publications often knock them I still automatically tune to News 24 or Radio 4 if there is a major breaking news story. Radio 2 contains some of the finest radio programming & presenters anywhere while Radio 1 promotes fresh new talent and sounds expertly. On TV the BBC have been responsible for many of the last decade’s most delicious shows. Recently Doctor Who, Spooks, Dick & Dom and Little Britain.

The fondest memory I have of the BBC is for making me the most scared I have ever been in my life. The other day I was walking through town where I saw a number of people wearing ‘Most Haunted Crew’ T-Shirts. I laughed at the thought of a local building appearing on this awful program. I’ve watched it a few times and I feel it is making a mockery of genuine investigation into a fascinating subject – ghosts. Derek & Yvette should be banned from coming anywhere near a camera for producing this dumb show. It is a pale imitation of possibly the greatest 90 minutes of television I’ve ever watched…

It was October 1992, I was excited as it was one of the first times I’d been left home alone. I tuned into BBC 1 for their live Ghostwatch. Michael Parkinson, Sarah Greene & Mike Smith hosted a 90-minute investigation of the most haunted house in Britain while Craig Charles provided the light relief. The studio ghost expert was, bizarrely, the head-tutor from Channel 4’s ‘Teachers’ Of course it was all a sham – an expertly produced ‘what-if’ drama that wasn’t even live. On the night I didn’t know that. I sat watching fascinated by what the university investigators had discovered at this haunted house. Central heating banging, school textbooks being defaced, a girl being scratched and a spooky voice uttering ‘Round & round the mulberry bush.’ I sat terrified as the ‘live’ broadcast descended into chaos. Banging, crashing wailing felines and Sarah Greene being trapped in a ghastly ‘glory hole’ (ahem). The image of ‘Pipes’ the spectre behind the happenings haunted me for years.

I waited petrified for my parents to return, “Mum, mum they’ve proved ghosts exist, they’re real…”

Of course it wasn’t and the BBC got into all sorts of trouble. The broadcast even being linked to the suicide of one lad who got a tad too scared! It was never to be shown again… well until it got a DVD release a few years back.

It still sticks in my mind though – I was captivated in a way that no TV show has ever emulated. I doubt it could be done today, we’re too media savvy – but I’d love to see it attempted!

More on Ghostwatch here.
..and here...

Crackin' Gromit...

It looks like the film I most want to see this week is going to be a huge hit. Well at least that's what I think judging by the random drunk old guy out side my local Tesco a few minutes ago. There he was, in his late 50s at least, rosey red face swinging a carrier bag around proclaiming, "I love Wensleydale"

Wallace would be proud...

Bigger On The Inside

I love my new house, it doesn’t feel like home yet but we’re getting there. In spring we plan to tackle the back yard – not that big but a lick of paint, a few pots and I’m sure it’ll do wonders. But for some dumb reason I’ve decided I’d love a TARDIS in it. You see it’s not big enough for a shed and although we have a huge cellar for storage it’d be a lot easier to have a small shed for storage of BBQ, plant stuff and patio furniture. How cool would it be to build a TARDIS?! Far more interesting than a shed. I’ve looked into plans and cost and reckon it could be done for around £400. (Self build obviously)

It’ll probably never happen, my girlfriend is doing her best to dissuade me. I’m amazed at how many people out there in interweb land have actually taken on such a project. Like this bloke for instance… oh and this one.

Hmmm. Should I do it? I can see it being a project I start with full gusto and enthusiasm and then after a month giving up leaving the cellar full of half finiashed 7ft high MDF Tardis doors! It’ll be like the Blue Peter Tracy Island all over again which spent 2 years on top of my wardrobe half finished! Besides, thinking about it I haven’t even got a Sonic Screwdriver and I’m sure a Phillips one would be no good….

How To Win A Pub Quiz

As a quiz master I’m often asked for tips on winning. My stock reply is don’t play to win - just enjoy it. That was always my mantra when taking part in a quiz myself though I guess £100 cash or some free beer is always a bonus.

So how do you win a quiz? Well here’s some tips. For a start a good knowledge of Bond or 007 is a must. Every single quiz I’ve been to there almost always seems to be a Bond question – even in the ones I write I seem to slip them in. It’s usually which bond girl, or who sang…. Though sometimes it’ll be ‘which Bond.’
Look for current events too. Last week Charlie & The Chocolate factory came out. Sure enough quizzes featured questions about the original movie or the book. Likewise back in March/April every quiz I went to was asking questions about Doctor Who – and it’ll almost always be lazy ones that don’t need research. What does TARDIS stand for being a prime example. Just looking logically at current events like that can definitely lead to good guesses at what any given weeks pub quiz will contain.

Finally big advice here is look for themes. This is something I’m guilty of when writing a quiz. If I find a good question I’ll milk it for everything it’s worth. Last year every week I asked a question about the Monopoly Board or Monopoly rules simply because the board was kept next to my computer. I had a run of weeks about dartboards – again it was opposite where I was sat when writing the quiz. If, at your local, you get asked a question like this then I will bet you the next week there will be another question – simply because it saves the quizmaster the hassle of doing research for a question. I’ve recently discovered a list of international vehicle registration numbers.. that’ll keep me going for months!

Of course If you ever do come to my pub quiz be warned, as a fan of pub quizzes myself I am aware of some of these tricks of the trade – and often try hard to go against them… well unless I’m having a lazy ‘Quiz by numbers’ week…

Bless Me Father Roddenbury, For I Have Sinned...

I remember when I was about 6. Messing about in the living room, mum in the kitchen I switched the TV channel from the boring news to BBC 2. I sat watching fascinated by two men in pyjamas attacking a lump of reddish brown rock with laser guns. Later wisdom would teach me that this was the Horta from Star Trek The Original Series episode “The Devil In The Dark”. It was my first experience of Star Trek and it wasn’t long before I sat and watched the Wrath Of Kahn. A few years later The Next Genration debuted and I was hooked – I was a Trekker.

Flash forward to 2001 and (Star Trek) Enterprise arrives. The very talented Scott Bakula is the perfect choice for captain and I’m looking forward to another crew and another exciting voyage…. Sadly the excitement never arrives. Apart from Captain Archer the characters all seem boring and 2D. T’pol is just plain annoying without any of the character strength that made Seven fascinating in Voyager. Worse still is that none of these characters really seem to be happy there. Gone are the bold brave explorers from the other Starfleet ships – instead we have a bunch of nervous tykes scared of what is around the next corner. These are meant to be heroes, role models even. Archer sometimes manages but the rest seem reluctant. I try and try to get into it reminding myself that TNG & DS9 took a while to hit their strides but it just doesn’t happen. The final nail in the coffin is Star Trek Nemesis. A weak remake of The Wrath Of Kahn where the writer & director seems to have failed to get a grasp of any of the characters I have loved for the last two decades.

It’s the first time a new TV season has started without any new Star Trek since 1987. A few years ago I’d have been devastated but now with my beloved Star Trek DVDs keeping me company (every single Star Trek ever… except Enterprise of course) I’m actually not bothered it’s actually woken me up to what else is out there. For starters we’ve had the excellent Doctor Who. Sheer brilliance and I’m eagerly awaiting David Tennant’s ‘Christmas Invasion’

There’s Lost on Channel 4 (well it seems more like an hour of adverts with a bit of Lost every now and then!) – and I’m hooked. What’s a polar bear doing on a tropical island. How does a wheelchair bound man suddenly develop the ability to walk? What’s that French radio broadcast? Who is the mysterious man in a suit that is being spotted?

I’ve also discovered Sci-Fi Channel’s excellent remake of Battlestar Galactica. I detested the original – far too garish but this is sheer genius. It’s how Enterprise should have been, gritty, realistic but above all engaging and intelligent. No dumb technobabble and genuine raw emotion the commander is not afraid to speak his mind and tell the crew how he feels (“Get out of my office while you still can…”) much more interesting that the reserved Starfleet officers.

This summer we’ve had Batman Begins and War Of The Worlds, two absolutely gripping SF films, not to mention Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, the forthcoming King Kong. And of course there’s the excellent Half Blood Prince Potter continuation.

So other Trekkers out there fear not. Take off your Federation Blinkers, stop the TNG DVD you’re playing and take a look at the hoards of new Science Fiction that is being produced. Perhaps life without Trek isn’t too bad after all…

House Hunting Stressful?

Back in February when I started house hunting I was told it’s the most stressful thing you’ll ever do. Countlessy, again and again. To be honest though I loved it. I was fascinating going around and viewing homes. Being nosy and seeing other peoples decors and ways of living. I loved mentally mapping out how I’d have the house. The solicitor bit didn’t seem stressful – just long. Like taking loads of little steps instead of just buying the damn house. I do have my girlfriend to thank there though – she’d been through the process before and did most of the paper work.
Taking the house on and decorating it has been great fun. Paint flying everywhere, picking colour schemes and taps. Using rollers, and yes lads…. Power tools! For every bit of work completed you do you find another niggly little bit of work to be done. No big jobs as such just lots of little ones.

It was only in the final few weeks that the annoyance set in. The house was ours, the moving in date was set but there was still so much to do. It was the limbo of being able to see the goal line but not reach it. Sooo frustrating. The knowing that the house was there, it was ours – we could move in tomorrow except there was no kitchen.. Finally we’re in though and, touch-beech-effect-coated-woodchip, no stress!

When did I become a web junky?

It’s almost three months since I had to disconnect broadband for my house move. Talk Talk have been awfully slow at getting us reconnected – telling us different things at different times. SO much so that when my obligation to them runs out I will be terminating my contract with them. If they hadn’t have farted around so much and kept blaming it on BT (whom, I’ve discovered, had nothing to do with the problems) we could have been re-connected a month ago.

Anyway that’s not the point. What I want to know is when I became addicted to the internet. The first month offline was fine. I had a PDA to check my email and doing that once every few days was enough. By month two I was starting to miss the forums I post on, the film & sci-fi news sites and even browsing Ebay. But I could cope.

By month three and I really found it a pain that I couldn't get online. Everyday something cropped up that I wouldn’t have minded googling. The history of New Orleans, more info on Lost. Some research for a Halloween Party I’m organising.

It got worse and worse. I think of friends I’ve made on some forums, do they think I’m dead? What about other blogs I read, how are those people? Has Queen of the Skies successfully sued Delta Arlines? Is Diamond Geezer still expertly turning the most trivial East End London trivia into enthralling reading? It’s also quite worrying on how dependant I must be on the internet. For a start my music purchases are became lot more expensive. I’m amazed at how much more expensive the high street is for DVD & CDs than Play, Amazon or i-Tunes.

Back in 1996 when I first connected I never imagined the net would become such a big part of my life. Then it was just a good way of killing time for 10 mins looking up spoilers of the latest DS9 episodes. But now it really has become another community I’m part of. Now that the connection is back I’m going to have to apologise to my girlfriend and immerse myself for a few weeks to catch up. Looks like the kitchen walls will have to wait….

Sod's Law

At long last my web connection has been sorted from my new abode and I'm back to blogging!

It's typical though. The summer I don’t have access to my Blog is the summer loads happens. London Bombings, Harry Potter, Live Eight, Olympic decision, Lost and Big Brother. There’s me moving house, loads of cinema visits and films to talk about as well as my Djing dates and radio work. There’s the sad death of James Doohan and the tragedy in New Orleans. Not to mention a visit to Warwick Castle, Blackpool and Alton Towers to report on as well as a week’s break in Cornwall. Oh well guess I’ve got quite a bit to talk about over the next few weeks…

Sill Here

*Sigh* Well the move has gone as planned but web connection hasn't. I hope to be back online and blogging soon.

xx
smeg

Farewell Flat Four

So yesterday family, friends and I braved the heat of the hottest day in the world to empty the flat, my unofficial home since 2002. I’m always sad leaving properties full of happy memories. I’ve done it twice before though this time it is with the excitement of moving into a property I will actually own.






It’s not going to be for a few weeks which also means this is probably my final post for the time being. I hope to brave a PDA or friends computer so that I may say Hi, but in case not – I’ll see you in the future!

Favourite Bottle

So last night, under the cover of darkness the girlfriend and I sneaked to the local bottle bank and deposited all our empties. (We didn’t want to look like Alcoholics) There was a satisfying crunch and crash as we did our bit for the environment. One sad loss was this bottle.





Chateau Spook. One of my favourite tipples has long been Bulmers Strongbow Cider. So I was chuffed to find this special Halloween edition a few years back. Sadly the contents were vile but the bottle was cool. I’m going to miss the view of the Bulmers factory from Flat 4’s window when we move out. I’m not going to miss the gorgeous smell it produces every autumn though – you see my new house is right next door the factory! One of the huge Strongbow vats being right at the end of my street!

Gotta Lotta Bottle

Moving house is a sad time. The main reason is it means closing my third ever wine diary. It was a tradition started back at University by Hall mates Ruth and Sarah. I never did discover the totals of my first year residence at halls. In second and third year we didn’t keep it as strict as we should. Barely scraping double figures our wine & spirits diary hardly filled the top of the kitchen cupboards. (Believe it or not Peter Stringfellow, that bloke with crap hair, also keeps a wine diary!)

Back in January 2002 my girlfriend started hers at her flat, the flat we’ll be leaving next week. So are we alchoholics? In three years… here are the totals..






That’s a lot of Jesus Juice, but refreshingly not as much as I predicted. Now it’s off to the local bottle bank with the above products… will only take two trips!

Ch'mon...

Twenty years ago Michael Jackson was the self proclaimed King Of Pop. The music he churned out was some of the best in the world. Great original tunes like Beat It, Billie Jean and, of course, Thriller. But that was two decades ago. He hasn’t delivered anything of note for years. It is this reason why I dread his inevitable re-launch now he has been proven innocent. He will have a number one – I can guarantee that but will it be a number one down to talent, or simply a number one of pity and media hype? In the days where a blue frog can get to number one on the back a ring-tone an even weirder looking creature is bound to get to number one on the back of a world press dominating court case.

It’s a shame because the embarrassing spectacle of MJ releasing a snivelling song saying he was ‘innocent all along’ will further dilute the once great image he had. Of course If I’m wrong and we see a return to form from the Neverland One I will happily toast him a glass of Jesus Juice.

Sub-Standards?

I was highly anticipating the opening of Subway in the city. I’d heard so many good things about the chain. Healthy, tasty and freshly made. I strode up to the counter awkwardly, not being familiar with the store I wasn’t quite sure of the procedure but was amazed by the five staff eagerly waiting to prepare my food. I chose Chicken & Bacon Ranch, Hearty Italian Bread and decided to go the whole hog for a ‘fat bastard’ foot-long. That’s when the first worrying thing happened. Rather than treating my baguette lovingly with TLC it was sliced and manhandled by each of the staff in turn. They were wearing gloves and I’m sure they adhered to the many food prep regulations but there was something off-putting by five pairs of hands roughly flattening the baguette open and shoving in the ingredients. It was like watching ER except the operation was faster. At one point I half expected the meat stuffer to scream for a scapel.

The end result was encouraging. The baguette was stuffed with cucumber lettuce and some onion. It did indeed look tasty and fresh. Then came the shock.

“That’s £5.40 please.”

Wow. For one baguette, no extras, no drink no cookie. £5.40.

I don’t think I’ll be going to Subway again. Yes it was delicious. But for £5.40 I can buy three baguettes from Morrissons (which would be much more than a footl ong) and still have enough change for a drink. Also, two minutes walk away from Subway is our local Greggs. Baguettes there are as little as £1.50 for a gorgeous range of fillings. (And of course the freshly baked Sausage Rolls mmmm…) For £5.40 I’d at least expect a drink, or possibly gold plated cutlery and a side pot of caviar… Not asking much is it?

Oh so very very tired....

The 24-hour bowl night went really fast. We were playing Scrabble well into the early hours – frustratingly even a dictionary couldn’t help us in achieving many words longer than four letters – though I did manage ‘lockers’ at one point. At 4am we joined the charity bowlers for a game before moving to the pool area for a game of nine-ball. At seven we both started to lag. Stretching out listening to Chris Moyles. Those final two hours seemed longer than the previous six.

Still it was nice to see the sun rise and sit outside in the still of the dawn with barely a sound. Even at the edge of a dull trading estate the start of the day was as glorious as it could possibly be. Shame I missed the rest of the day by spending it in bed.

Mr Sandman...

I have to stay awake.

I won’t be going to bed until exactly 24hours from now.

But how do I do it?

I’ve done ‘all nighters’ before. In 1998 I was up until 5am completing my design coursework. In 2000 I stayed up until 6am helping refit the bowling centre. In 2001 I got to bed about 8am after flying back from Cyprus. In 2002 I was up until 5am finishing my dissertation.

Tonight I am supervising the bowling centre from 11pm – 9am as a charity aims to complete a 24 hour bowl.

I did try ‘time shifting’ – going to bed later and later each night and getting up later each morning but by last night was knackard and went to be early. I’ll be fine until 4am but that’s where I’ll start to struggle. I have dug out my Rocket Fuel Coffee in preparation – it kept me going through dissertation day, and I have supplies of Red Bull ready but I really don’t know how I’m going to get through the twilight hours from 4 – 9am. This afternoon I will try going back to bed but I know, just know I won’t sleep. I never can in daylight.

Unlike D-Day and A Levels I will not be going it alone which is a bonus. There will be other staff sharing the ‘fun’ – we’ve already contemplated playing Monopoly, watching Big Brother and even bowling ourselves.

Perhaps I should give in – take a sleeping bag with me just in-case. Anyway, I’ll report back tomorrow and find out how I went!

Changing the tunes...

You may have noticed I’ve stopped logging my weekly Saturday night DJ gigs lately. No particular reason except that they’ve all been average. I haven’t had any disastrous nights in ages but like wise I haven’t has any exceptional nights. It’s not a bad thing, the clients have all been lovely as have the crowds but many have been simply ‘painting by numbers’.

Saturday was slightly different. It was a 60th birthday party which to some extent filled me with dread. Rock and Roll and 60s hits all night could get a bit dull. I like to play a bit of everything. The birthday girl surprised me though by asking for Green Day. Puzzled I played it. The dance floor got distinctly busier. I followed it up with James ‘Sit Down’, Feeder ‘Buck Rogers’ and The Dandy Warhols ‘Bohemian Like You’. They loved it. How far could I push it? I dared one of the ultimate Indie anthems; Reef ‘Place Your Hands’. They loved it more. It wasn’t the busiest night. Heck it wasn’t the best night I’ve done but being able to play something so different to the normal routines of Wham, Lulu and the B52s was very, very refreshing.

Big Brother Bit.
I’m fast realising that we have some of the most awful housemates in History. Kemal, Craig and Lesley in particular are vile. Constant bitching. Sure it’s the bitching that can make the show but you don’t want it 24/7. Some of the best bits in Big Bro are the moments the housemates bond and have a laugh. The wall painting in BB1 or the dancing task in BB2. The negativity in this year’s house is starting to grow tiresome. Normally during BB I don’t bother to even buy a TV guide knowing that it’ll make up much of my TV viewing. Today though the other channels may find their figures increase by one viewer.

Uniform Views

6 months ago the Safeways that’s 5 minutes walk from me became a Morrisons. I love it. The range is much better, as is the salad bar and selection of sandwich filling however there’s one thing that bugs me. The uniforms. They’re so ugly! It’s not just Morrisons though it’s all supermarkets.

It’s not fair. All the big high street retail giants carefully design their uniforms to represent their image. HMV and Starbucks have simple but nice polo shirts with company logo. The mobile phone giants have specially designed stylish suits. What do supermarkets get? Puffy boiler shirts in a range of vomit like colours. Morrisons is a hideous blend of purples and blacks made out of the same material as sleeping bags. The cut is hideously unfashionable looking very 60s like. Surely supermarkets are keen to promote a fresh clean image so why are the uniforms stuck in a timewarp. Sure they have to be practical but a stylish shirt with simple trousers is all I ask for. 90% of the staff wearing them look unhappy. Mr WM Morrison hear this. Making your staff happier by giving them better uniforms would give a much more positive image to us – the consumers!

So are there any other hideous uniforms out there? I’d love to hear the sickening details.

Big Brother Bit: When will we ever learn? Once again the nation has voted out the most interesting housemate meaning that Big Brother’s entertainment factor is going to suffer. Sure Mary was as mad as a box of frogs but she was different, a character we’d never seen in the show. Craig is a bitchy camp man -–we've seen plenty of those over the years of Big Brother, yet for some reason you’ve decided that you want another helping… zzzzzzz.

Summer of Bruv

Summer is finally here. It arrived yesterday in a gorgeous display of blue skies and muggy heat. Sadly I was stuck indoors on an 8-hour bar shift. Not to worry though because yesterday evening was another sure sign that summer was here. The annual event that now seems to define the summer (at least according to the tabloids and my TV viewing habits.) Yes Big Brother is back and I’m glad. I dislike most Reality TV choosing properly crafted dramas over Z List celebs desperately trying to resurrect their career.

Big Brother is different though. It’s huge. It can offer an insight into different lives. Last years was a parody of Big Brother of old, BB 6 seems to be continuing the trend. Originally the producers used to assemble a cross section of society under one roof but after the boring collection that was BB4 the producers have changed the direction. For the second year running we have a collection of misfits and polar opposites – and do you know what – I’m looking forward to it. We have an African Princess who despises swearing living with a Hairdresser than loves it. We have someone who hates racists living with some who “isn’t racist” but “hates immigrants.”

Let the games begin…

The Force Is Strong In This One

I wouldn’t call myself a Star Wars fan. My loyalties lie with the United Federation Of Planets and the USS Enterprise – not the Rebellion and the Millennium Falcon however being a general Science Fiction fan I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to go to the local premiere of Revenge Of The Sith.

This morning we travelled the 45 miles to Cheltenham to get the first showing. (I live 5 minutes walk from Hereford’s cinema but believe me it’s so crap I’d rather go out of my way…)

So the verdict. It’s good to see a film that finally feels like a Star Wars movie. Let’s face Phantom Menace was crap, it really was. Clones while enjoyable is not on a par with the cinematic experience the original trilogy. Today really felt like I was finally watching the origins of the legendary SF icons that are Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. The film is breathtaking. While the previous prequals made a point of showing off the CGI (the pointless podrace for instance) this film actually felt that the CG was justified. Yoda doesn’t feel like a glorified computer character like Jar Jar did – he seems just like an actor. There are dodgy moments. While Hayden Christensen’s acting hasn’t improved Ewan McGregor’s impersonation of Alec Guinness has. Lucas’s ability to write romance is still lousy but his direction has tightened. (Though this may be due to help from Steven Spielburg if rumours are true)

The Wookie scenes were crowd pleasers and Mace Windu’s final battle with the Chancellor was tense as we finally see the moment Annakin turns. The one bit that did stick out like a sore thumb was Darth Vader’s howl of “Nooooooooooooooo!” at the end, really doesn’t feel right - especially as the set exploding around him was more than enough to portray the struggle of Annakin’s emotions.

This is the film that will finally please the Star Wars fanboys and even have the more casual fans like myself excited about the Jedi… perhaps I may purchase the original Trilogy on DVD after all…

Get Well Soon

I was shocked by this morning’s announcement that one of my idols has breast cancer. It was confirmed that Kylie Minogue is pulling out of her tour and Glastonbury due to this terrible news. I wish her the speediest of recoveries and hopes she gets through it as quickly as possible. It is terrible terrible news but I hope some good comes out of it. Kylie Minogue is incredibly high profile – if the news that even someone as seemingly immortal as her can be struck with cancer means that someone out there checks themselves and finds a lump then it can only be positive.

If she’s open about the condition she can influence thousands of fans to check themselves and potentially save lives. It’s weird as I was going to write a blog last week to say how I didn’t enjoy the Showgirl concert on Channel 4 – despite Kylie being one of my favourite ever pop stars. Glad I didn’t now!

Still I’m sure in the near future we will see another spectacular concert from Kylie showing why she’s one of the nations favourites.

Where Have All The UFO's Gone?

It’s the mid-nineties. A young teen snuggles up in his duvet under the glow of his television ready for another exciting adventure of Mulder & Scully. Opposite him a poster bearing the words ‘ I Want To Believe’ with a fuzzy UFO in the background. On his bookcase are a number of volumes of the unexplained and case files of The X Files. If you hadn’t have guessed that young teen was me 11 or so years ago. In the brief period of time when the X-files replaced Star Trek & Red Dwarf in my heart. Of course we all know that after Season Three The X Files collapsed under the weight of it’s own mythology and turned from the interesting show it was to the confusing and rambling unwatchable show it became.

Back then the tabloids were littered daily with UFO sightings. ITN News filled a multitude of ‘And Finally’s’ with the latest flying saucer report. Usually featuring a Slack Jawed Yokel bliterhing on about his pigs being worried. There were endless articles over the secrets of Area 51 too.

It’s now the mid-naughties and, it seems, UFO sightings have all but ceased. But how? Since the UFO flap caused by the popularity of The X Files we have easier access to cameras. People have them on their phones and have more sophisticated digital cameras which were barely a twinkle in Kodak’s eyes back then. With more cameras around shouldn’t we be seeing more UFOs?

Is this proof that they didn’t exist in the first place? The X Files served as a catalyst for those who wanted to believe to mis-represent satellites, stars, planes and balloons as UFO’s. Or is it that we’ve moved on to a new stage in the UFO phenomenon.

Since Kenneth Arnold first saw his flying saucers in 1947 people have wanted the truth. It’s out there, I just hope we find it.

UFO News
UFO Resources

Big Black Oblivion Hood

Typical, the week I buy myself a nice new hoody (with the Oblivion logo on no less) shopping centres around the UK start to ban them. I feel like a criminal by just donning the 100% cotton garment. Anyway that's one urban menace that's starting to be dealt with but what of the other? I've written about the foul demons that are Chuggers a few times in this this blog but finally a website - from the makers of chavscum.co.uk has arrived to promote getting rid of them.

If this was an election topic last week it would have got my vote.

Long Term Commitment

Back in February I hinted in my blog that I was about to make the biggest decision of my life. This decision will lead to the biggest commitment of my life – a 30-year mortgage. Yes I’m on the verge of buying a house. 30 years is a long time and it set me thinking about what, up until now, has been my biggest commitment.

My girlfriend? Nope. My longest relationship is the one I’m currently in. 3 years, 4 months and 1 day so far.

School? Nope. Primary school was 1985 – 1991. 6 years. Secondary school was 1991 – 1996, 5 years. Sixth Form a mere 2 years and university 3 years.

Work? Nope. I started at my present employer on April 2nd 1997. It’s now 2005 so that’s 8 years and 1 month.

So what is it then? The answer landed on my doormat this morning. Issue 131 of my favourite magazine is its tenth anniversary special. I have bought every issue, even subscribing for the last 5 years. 10 years of reading SFX magazine is the biggest commitment in my life. If it continues to be as well written, witty and entertaining as it has been for the last 10 years (except for a few years when there was far too much Buffy coverage for my liking) then no doubt in 2015 it’ll still be the longest commitment in my life. By that time though, I will need a much bigger bookcase to store them all on…

Happy Birthday SFX.

Wheelchair Wierdness

One thing that struck me yesterday about my visit to Alton Towers was this weird incident... click away.

Day Out...

I've been looking forward to today for the last two weeks. Why? Well I'm off to one of my favourite places in the world.

Alton Towers here we come!!

Traffic Island Dics

Throughout March and April I did a series of posts based on Album’s that have influenced my life (I will reprise this at some point.) But I have been asked what about a single track? What is my favourite song?

This is a tough one. I have many tracks I love, Wake Up Boo by The Boo Radlys, Eternity, Better Man and Feel are great songs from Robbie Williams. I love the chilling vocals from Freddie Mercury on Queen’s You Take My Breath Away. Dodgy’s Self Doubt and DB Boulavard’s Point Of View and Kylie Minogue’s I Did It Again are regular plays for me.

But the one track that I love, the one track that always makes me stop and listen is Groove Armada’s At The River. It’s a sample of Old Cape Cod by Patti Page. All it takes are the first two lines and repeats them;

“If you’re fond of sand dunes and salty air,
Quaint little villages here and there,”

There’s a mellow accompaniment on the trumpet and a dreamy bass line which is the ultimate de stress and chill out track. As I’ve mentioned before I did have a brief period of life back in 2001/2002 where I struggled to get through things. In the evenings I used to return home and listen to chillout music to relax. It’s the sounds of At The River that helped the most.

Humble...

Thanks for your great suggestions for tracks NOT to play on hospital radio. Made me chuckle. It also reminded me of one of the most humbling DJ gigs I had ever done which was about 18 months ago or so. I was booked to DJ a retirement party. But found it odd that the retiree was only 30. I was puzzled but to be honest thought nothing of it until I arrived at the gig. I was told that the lady had terminal cancer and wanted one last big party with all her friends, colleagues and family.

Wow, talk about putting the pressure on to perform! But I also started seeing hidden meanings in songs that I wouldn’t normally see. American Pie – the day the music died? Should I play it or is that a bit suggestive.

Luckily the lady in question turned out to be one of the most amazing human beings I have ever met. She showed no fear and partied like I’ve never seen. It was one of the best atmospheres at a party I’d seen in a long time with everyone on the dance floor. She made jokes gave a brilliant speech and got bit tipsy. What did she request as her last song? ‘Bay City Rollers, Bye Bye Baby’. Genius. At the end of the night the crowd did a big group hug in the middle of the dance floor which actually led me to tears.

If I ever have to face death and I’m able to show just a tiny bit of the courage she displayed I’d be a lucky man…

Ill Sounds

For the last few weeks I’ve been doing some voluntary DJ work at Hospital Radio. It’s good fun and to be honest I’m really enjoying it – hopefully it will become a permanent thing for me. But While bored the other day at work I decided to come up with a top 10 of records that, perhaps, I shouldn’t play…

Dead From The Waist Down – Catatonia
Keep Yourself Alive – Queen
Doctor’s Orders – Sunny
Anything by Dead Or Alive, especially ‘My Heart Goes Bang (Get Me To The Doctor)’
Virus – Iron Maiden
Infected - Barthezz
Broken Bones - Love Inc
We Trying To Stay Alive - Wyclef Jean & The Refugee Allstars
Stayin’ Alive – Bee Gees
How To Be Dead – Snow Patrol

Behind The Sofa

The BBC received complaints last week that the new Doctor Who was too scary. What? It’s a dubious claim but perhaps I should try thinking how I’d react to it at the age of 6 or 7.

I'd love to experience horror & scary TV through the eyes of the less 'movie-wise.' Sadly there’s a problem. I'm really interested in filmmaking so I watch horror with the knowledge of 'how it was done' and the fact that there was 20+ crew members the other side of the camera at that time. While I still enjoy the stories told by the films they just don't scare me. What should do the job is a good physiological scare.

This is going to sound so dumb but the one film that did give me a sleepless night was Signs. When I was young I was never scared of ghosts or bogeymen - it was Aliens. Just really freaked me out the thought that we could be invaded at any time. (Statistically very unlikely but never say never!) Signs tapped into those childhood fears perfectly. While the film didn't scare me as such I got home and was thinking what I’d do in that situation. It really started to play on my mind. I even dreamt about the moment the alien walks past the window at the children’s birthday party. Had to wake up and put The Simpsons on just to settle my mind!

I bought the DVD but I've yet to watch it all the way though! It's the last section - the claustrophobia of it. Creepy. But much much better than the supposedly scary slasher, blood and guts films.

Devon Guide - Day Five

So what did we do on our final day in Devon? We had thoroughly enjoyed Plymouth at the start of the week despite a friend saying he hated it. He said Exeter was a far more exciting and interesting place. Well if we enjoyed Plymouth we were bound to enjoy Exeter. We decided to head up and around the M5 to spend a day shopping. We spent quite a while trying to find decent parking then more of a while fumbling for change. When we finally got to the city we were – well, disappointed. For a start there didn’t seem to be a central hub to the city. It just seemed to sprawl endlessly in a long strip. The Guildhall shopping centre was a depressing brick monstrosity that has completely boxed in the far more architecturally interesting St Pancreas Church.





The saving grace Exeter had to offer was the underground passages. Sadly though due to my girlfriend’s claustrophobia we were advised not to visit them. It may turn out to be a missed opportunity, as these passages will close to the general public on 25th April 2005 at least until late 2007. The Cathedral was impressive to look at but lacking any interest in religion we didn’t really want to spend time there. Finally there was Parliament Street. This street is approximately 1220mm at its widest making it the world's narrowest street. But, because it’s not even sign posted, other than a small brass plaque we missed it!

By the time we left Exeter we decided we should have perhaps spent a second day in Plymouth. The city just didn’t appeal to us. Perhaps if we did more research before we went we could have found things worth looking at – then again shouldn’t a city make an effort to signpost points of interest? One aspect of Exeter we did enjoy was the bowling centre. Yes it was a busman’s visit but I do like a game of 10 Pin Bowling!

The next day we packed up our stuff and travelled home up the M5

A better guide to Exeter than I can offer.

The Complete Devon Guide:
Day 4
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

Vote Smeg.

With the election looming what would I do if I was leader of a party?

Basically I'd address the balance where it seems to be the chavvy lowlifes that do nothing for the good of the country yet still seem to get all the rewards. To get dole money I would make it compulsory to do community service. Litter picking, cleaning graffiti, repairing vandalism etc. This would, hopefully start to put a stop to the chav society of scrounging of the state. It would also start to clean up Britain’s streets. Chavs would also have to do menial jobs like fruit picking and factory labour to earn their dole - this would mean companies wouldn't have to employ cheap eastern European labour thus easing the immigration 'crisis' we have. People would also be fined for wearing any article of Burberry. 50% more if its a baseball cap and even more if it's fake Burberry. (They’d be arrested if wearing fake bling or caught tucking tracksuit bottoms into white sports socks)

I'd drop education fees - these are people going to uni trying to better themselves, they should be rewarded with tax breaks not years of debt.

To encourage people to be more active I'd subsidise the leisure industry making it cheaper to play sports, visit theme parks etc this would be paid for by adding a tax on fast foods and foods high in fat content. (With the amount of this stuff bought it only would have to be an extra 5p on things.) (This would also help me lose weight and discourage me from eating the crap I currently eat.)

Invest in town centre redevelopment so rather than building thousands more new homes and losing valuable countryside I'd use buildings that are already there but empty and in need of refitting to help ease the housing shortage the UK currently has. These new properties created by converting empty shops and warehouses etc into new flats would be sold off cheaply to first time buyers/young couples helping them onto the ladder. To discourage investors snapping up cheap homes to rent out and also making it harder for first time buyers I would charge 'Investors Duty' - they're gonna be making money out of their property so why not take a bit to help fund this redevelopment scheme.

I’d also make it compulsory that when the BBC signs up promising new talent for certain science fiction shows they would have to be locked in to at least three years, not to quit after one thus spoiling enjoyment for fans….

God help me, I sound like a Daily Mail reader.

Creative Ambitions

I started a novel last year. I’ve always had a creative side trying to get out. I guess it’s the combination of me being both a Pisces and left-handed (sadly this also means statistically I’ll die about 9 years younger than most - curse my writing preference.)

In my teens I wanted to be a cartoonist. I created a whole world for these two cartoon fellows – Ben ‘n’ Bill (NOT Bill & Ben – there’s a difference.) and they had many adventures to amuse a selection of my school friends. They were printed in the local paper and came on the top 200 of the Lloyds Bank Channel 4 Film Challenge. I still doodle them when bored but it’s been a good 10 years since they had a 40-page adventure.

The net has been the main vent for my creativity over the last 10 years. Numerous WebPages on Red Dwarf and the Big Breakfast.

But like Dave Gorman, there’s something inside me that longs to write a novel. Everyone was surprised when I announced it was a contemporary story set at a university. They all expected Science Fiction. I was really enjoying writing the story of Chris and his life at uni. His failed romance, his numerous visits to casualty and a number of drunken mishaps and quarrels. Then my hard drive died. I do have a back up but it’s 7000 words shorter than the lost 40,000 word hard drive version and the knowledge that I have to re-create a number of chapters had doused the flame that was fuelling the story.

I still have ideas for that novel and a number of others zooming around my head. I hope they see the light of day.

Devon Guide - Day Four

On our forth day in Devon we decided to do what we’d hoped to do on that holiday all along. Have a rest. With both of us working in retail/leisure industry and Xmas only weeks away we knew it’d be the last time we could have a lazy day for a few weeks.

In the morning we headed into Exmouth via a long walk down the beach and explored the town. We’d accidentally smashed a bowl in our hotel room so wandered around for a replacement and looked at all the shops. Poppies littered the war memorial in the centre of the town just a few steps away from the lovely “Powder Monkey” Wetherspoons pub. We bought rock, some Xmas presents and a few trinkets for friends back home. It’s weird how sometimes you visit towns that seem to be stuck a decade behind the rest of the country. Cornwall is the guiltiest of this but Exmouth seemed to be one of these places. Local shops outnumbered big brand shops though the redevelopment of Exmouth Marina seemed to be pulling the town into the twentieth century. The houses around the marina were fantastic and if it wasn’t for the town feeling so isolated from society I’d be tempted to live there.





In the afternoon we spent our time in the Deer Leap seafront pub watching the land lord putting up Christmas decorations and having a tipsy game of pool. The evening was spent back at the Hotel playing Bingo and reading. At this point we both started to grow concerned about the amount of hideous Christmas decorations that were starting to appear throughout the hotel… more on these scary items soon!

See Exmouth Webcams - Live!

Devon Guides:
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

Devon Guide – Day Three

This was our busiest day. Following breakfast we headed down the A380 towards Torquay & Paignton once more. Our first stop was Babbacombe Model Village founded by T.F. Dobbins in the mid 60s this village is an idyllic miniature tribute to the English way of life. Everything is depicted from small villages to large city centres. There’s a football stadium and cricket pitch – there’s even a hydroelectric dam. The craftsman ship is wonderful and while it didn’t keep two twentysomethings occupied for long I’d love to revisit this attraction with children and see it through their eyes. We visited on a rainy day but as you can see from the website it seems a sunny day would further enhance the attraction.





The second visit of the day was to Bygones – a life-size Victorian street. Sadly it was also the most disappointing. First off the street its self is amazing. Hand crafted and constructed in an old cinema it recreates a typical Victorian Street in just about every detail. But apart from this the exhibition doesn’t offer much. It has loads to look at but doesn’t actually tell you much about what you’re looking at. (Even the website offers a history of the museum its self on the second page - before offering visitor info!)

When you leave the street you progress into an exhibition of Railwayana, There’s fantasyland which doesn’t fit in at all with the rest of the museum and is a garish display of UV and kitsch. Finally there’s the WW1 display which was fascinating to look out but again lacked explanation. What was littered throughout Bygones was gushing self-tributes by the museum creators. While I have no doubt a lot of time and effort went into the project that’s not actually what I’m there to see. I wanted info about Victorian life, not how long it took to build the replica. I don’t want to know how wonderfully supportive your wife was throughout. I want to see accounts of real Victorians. Descriptions of what the items I’m look at actually are. When they were made etc…





Our third visit was just down the road. Kents Cavern in Torquay. I’d never visited underground caves before. Wasn’t quite sure what to expect of wandering around some rocks for an hour. Thankfully I was blown away. The sheer magnitude of this natural exhibition was amazing. Yes there were tributes to the owners – The Powe family but unlike the Bygones Museum this seemed relevant and was balanced with a lot more info about the caves themselves. The caves served to truly awaken you to the insignificance of your time on earth. The fact they have been around for two and a half million years and are still developing is humbling. There was evidence of previous inhabitants both human and otherwise. The guide was enthusiastic yet explained complex theories in an easy to understand way – a gift shared by the best of teachers and Johnny Ball! I was stuck in with a group of Japanese tourists and while I loath blatant stereotyping I have to admit their constant taking of photos very annoying. Afterwards the guide even apologised for it saying he’s sorry but they took so long that he had to miss a bit out. He took time to tell us some extra info to make up for this. Out of our three trips I would recommend the Caverns the most.

After a tiring day we returned to our hotel to take part in a pub quiz hosted by a very miserable bloke who sounded like Joe Pasquale. I am ashamed to say, considering I’m a pub quiz host myself, we didn’t do well… Do’h!

Devon Guides:
Day 2
Day 1

Now That's What I Call Music IV

2000 – Robbie Williams: Sing When You’re Winning




I hated Robbie Williams. I remember loathing Angels when it was released. Freedom was cack – it was the video that put me off more than anything, that untalented ex-boy band clown mugging down a camera lens. When I saw his albums in the bargain bin I laughed safe in the knowledge he’d soon be out of the public eye. 1998 rolled around and I remember hearing a great song over some football footage. To my horror I discovered who the artist was – Robbie Williams. The song, Let Me Entertain You.

I resisted for a while but I kept hearing the song. I started singing it, it got into my head I had to buy it. I even used it Djing.

Flash forward few months and there’s Millennium. Being a Bond fan I was lured in by the use of John Barry’s You Only Live Twice score. The song was great and followed up with such hummable wonders as No Regrets and the gorgeous Strong. I’d been converted. I started to see Williams for what he really was. He didn’t want to be an artist he wanted to be an Entertainer – which is how it should be. Look at the musical great like Elvis & Queen, they put on a show, wowed the audience. People would say Robbie was a big-headed fool but I saw it as an act.

By 2000 I’d bought both Robbie albums and had the good fortune to see him live at Wembley Stadium at Net Aid where he stole the show in an amazing performance. Then came Rock DJ. To this day it fills the floor when I DJ. I have a feeling it’s a song Robbie himself isn’t keen on but I love it. Sing When Your Winning is possibly my favourite Williams album. Kids, the duet with Kylie is one of my favourite songs and Better Man is a truly gorgeous ballad which I personally rank as far superior to Angels.

It angers me that the music snobs don’t take Robbie seriously. Sure he’s pop but at least he can write his own stuff unlike the kareoke singers like Westlife & Gareth Gates. His music is intelligent and carries far more meaning than the gangsta crap of some of the manufactured hip hop acts. He can vary his act from pop, to swing to ballads and even rock. Most bands find a sound they like and keep churning it out. Franz Ferdinand are great but listen to their album – it all sounds very similar.
Most importantly Robbie can truly entertain. Few artists could captivate an audience like he did at the Albert Hall or Knebworth.

Escapology showed a different sound to Sing, almost rawer. It took me a while to really get into but that just made me like it more. The fact that Robbie wasn’t scared of trying something different – highlighted by last years ‘Radio’.

Captain Picard of Galifrey...

I Just had to snap this today at memorabilia at the NEC. It's like a fanboy's wet dream! Captain Picard about to set foot in Dr Who's Tardis - while being gaurded by a Dalek?! Considering the role of Doctor Who is currently up for grabs I couldn't think of a more suitable replacement.

"Number One... I mean Rose, set a course for Earth and get me some Tea, Earl Grey...hot.  Make It SO!"

Who Nose?

Remember when car noses used to grace the nation’s automobiles for months on end after Red Nose Day had passed? Every other car would sport a faded plastic red lump on their car radiator for weeks. Be it the plain one, the one with hands or one with the comic splatting effect. These days car noses seem to have lost popularity. Is it a sign that the UK is losing its good sense of humour or just that image is more important that charity?

Looking around Morrisons car park I was relieved to see one or two of this years air fresheners dangling from peoples rear view mirrors. It’s just a shame that not as many bought these charity-boosting noses as those that bought the awfully tacky St George window flags last summer. Comic Relief would have made a fortune – oh and yes my girlfriend's car (I can’t drive) does sport a red nose – oh and has a spare in the cupboard for when the lovely caramel smell runs out!

P.S. Is the Pope ill or something?

Bring Me The Head Of Christopher Ecclestone

After the loss of Star Trek there comes a new blow to Science Fiction fans. Christopher Ecclestone has quit as Doctor Who after filming just one series. He is the most hated man in Science Fiction – simply because he was so good!

This has left me in a sulky mood today. I was really enjoying the new Who but the pessimist in me says its all over. Sure he can be replaced but will the Tenth Doctor be as good? I doubt it.

So who will save us from the Daleks now? After all they are a severe threat to our existence. “Don’t be stupid” I hear you cry – they can’t get upstairs*. Ah true but with last years disability act enforcing all public spaces to have disabled access where are the stairs to stop them? With wheelchair ramps in every shop, library and public building the UK is a prime site for the invasion of the pepperpot like beasties.



*Yes yes, I know an episode in the Sylvester McCoy era proved the Daleks could travel up stairs – just humour me for the purposes of this blog!

Best Website Ever...

I discovered this site the other day and haven't been able to log off since!

Addictive, fun, and makes your realise how hard drawing with a mouse is.

Pictionary - online!

Now That's What I Call Music III

2001: Zero 7 – Simple Things





It was my final year at University that I discovered this album. It was a stressful period of my life. The closest I’ve been to self-destruction. I’d been through a bad patch of my teacher training that I really hadn’t enjoyed and had begun to realise that my childhood dream of being a teacher wasn’t for me.

The month of May 2002 was frantic. University students out there will understand why when I say one word. Dissertation. Friday 10th of May was the hand in date. At 1.00am that morning I read my completed dissertation and the horror dawned on me that the last 3000 words or so were awful. With just hours until the hand in deadline I made a very, very stupid decision. I would re-write it.

The kettle boiled, the ‘Rocket Fuel Coffee’ made and computer switched on. I went for it. Typing at a frantic pace. My eyes heavy, my head dull but I knew it had to be done. I can’t work without music but I knew that putting my usual sing-along stuff – Dodgy, Queen, Robbie would be suicide – I’d get distracted. So I dug out a chillout album. Zero 7. Largely ignored since I’d bought it. Listening to it as I typed and typed it captivated me. Soothing, calming. It focused me full of lush string arrangements, meandering bass lines, gentle drums.

By 6am I had finished the mighty task and just had to await the printer to spit out the to copies of my work. As it did this I listened to the album a third time that morning. Dozing off as I did so, floating. That year was the year of chillout music for me. I had needed it back in January 2002 to clam me down from a stressful time – and in the culmination of that year I called up on chillout one more time. I really think that without Zero 7 I wouldn’t have got through that long morning.

I’d highly recommend this album to anyone – you’d probably recognise many of the tracks, they’ve since been over used on many home improvements type shows.

This wasn’t the final time Zero 7 helped calm me. Exactly a year ago their second album, “When It Falls” was released. I had another stressful time ahead – a flight to Spain, Flying is my greatest fear. Slipping it on as we glided over France the familiar sounds calmed me once more. So thank you to Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker, I know they don’t like being labelled as Chill-Out, and it’s fair to say they are much, much more. Even so the two Zero 7 albums are rarely far from my CD players at those times when soothing sounds are needed!

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

I’m started to get excited. It can’t have escaped you that in one hour and forty minutes one of Britian’s Pop culture icons is returning to television. Not that we have many pop culture icons, the US tend to dominate that field leaving us James Bond, Sooty and of course Doctor Who.

I’m not quite sure why I’m getting excited. Although I enjoyed Who as a kid (I was 10 when it was axed) I’ve never bought and merchandise or went out of my way to watch it.

There is also the fact that I have already seen tonight’s episode having downloaded it from the naughty leak. What’s the verdict? Well it’s great, great fun and a change from all the dreary crime/medical dramas that seem to bog down television. The effects are brilliant and Christopher Ecclestone’s performance while ‘cooler’ than previous ‘Whos’ still has enough oddness to stay loyal to the character. I couldn’t stand Billie Piper in her pop career and while I still think she looks like a monkey she gives a great performance as Rose and I’m eager to see how the companionship pans out. The dodgiest bit has to be Rose's boyfriend being eaten alive by a wheelie bin.

I will watch tonight’s episode as It’ll be good to see it on a big screen with decent sound instead of a computer but I am worried. My appreciation of Star Trek has led to me to buying all the DVDs - not cheap but when you love it as much as I do it’s worth it. I’m just concerned that if I enjoy the rest of the new Who as much as the first episode it could lead to another Sci-Fi collection under my belt. My girlfriend already knows I’m a geek I don’t need more evidence!

Now That's What I Call Music II

1996: Dodgy, Free Peace Sweet.





Everyone remembers Good Enough. It was one of the sounds of the summer of 1996. That summer was simply gorgeous. Good weather and it seemed to stretch for an eternity. It was, in some ways, the last summer of my childhood. I had just completed my GCSE’s and was awaiting the start of Sixth Form. A 10-week (yes 10 – count ‘em) break with NOTHING to do! I didn’t have a job so I loafed. Cycled everywhere, read a lot and filmed dumb movies with my childhood best friend. Visited Alton Towers and got mildly drunk at a number of barbecues. It was also the year of my first ever DJ gig.

I remember watching Top Of The Pops (or TOTP as it was then) and being blown away by Dodgy’s performance of In A Room. I remember their earlier hit Stayin’ Out For The Summer but this sounded different. I bought the single but it wasn’t In A Room that got played and played – it was the B-Side, Self Doubt - a great sing-a-long song with a big bold sound. To this day to me that is the song I prefer to Good Enough. My dad bought me Free, Peace Sweet and it didn’t leave my CD player for months. The haunting ballads of If You’re Thinking Of Me. The great sound of UKRip and One of Those Rivers. I bought Dodgy back catalogue and while those CDs received a lot of attention it was always FPS that would be first choice. Sadly Dodgy disappeared. There was brief return with 2001’s self-funded ‘Real Estate’ which was a joy to listen to but didn’t capture me in the same way as FPS. To this day I rank Dodgy as a favourite band alongside Queen but I long for new material. Material I worry may never appear.

Now That’s What I Call Music

I have decided to delve into my music collection and review some of, what I think, are the most important albums of my life time. Albums I have bought that I played and played. This will be done in no particular order just as I pull them off my CD shelves!


1994 : Portishead, Dummy





This was a complete change in music for me. I’d made the transition from my misinformed Jive Bunny loving youth to teen years by listening to Queen. But I heard Portishead used as part of a Fortean Review of the Year on BBC 2. I loved it. The spooky and eerie sounds seemed to have its finger on the zeitgeist. Portishead: Dummy was the perfect soundtrack to my early teen years where I had become an X-Files/UFO obsessive and the music fitted the show better than Mark Snow’s original score. (As we all know X-Files went crap after a few years so I’ve since rediscovered Star Trek!)

From Mysterons through to Glory Box the echoing vocals of Beth Gibbons and rich bass sounds dispersed with gorgeous squeals of sound. I listened and listened to it, wearing out my original cassette tape (Yes – all you under 18s out there, cassette tape!) bought from Our Price and ended up replacing it with the much better CD. Strangely enough I have never purchased or even heard the follow up self-titled album. Perhaps I should seek it out, but I’m sure it’ll never match the deliciousness of Dummy.

Of course Portishead were sampled by the 411 late last year and with news of a new Portishead album on the way perhaps now is the time to catch up with their back catalogue.

Colour Changing Cars

Like crisps cars are subject to an ever-expanding variety. Back in the 80s I seem to remember every other car was red. You also had Blue, white and occasionally black but that was it – that was the full car colour spectrum. In the last few years these colours have become extinct, as everyone seems to opt for metallic hues, usually silver.

But there is one trend that concerns me. When did cars become yellow?

I first noticed it a few months ago. A bright yellow car pulled up next to my girlfriend with stickers of Tweety-Pie adorning the bonnet. Since then they seem to be everywhere. Bright yellow cars. Fiat seems to be leading the way in this shocking super mini colour trend. It sort of makes sense. I suppose high visibility cars would lead to fewer accidents. Heck why not make cars glow-in-the-dark if that’s what the manufacturers are after.

Seriously though keep your eyes peeled – I’m sure it’s a conspiracy. Yellow cars are out there see if you can spot some!

A Yellow Car Fan Club


P.S. Amusingly as I planned this blog yesterday I discovered one of my top DJ friends has just been given a company car - oh yes it's bright yellow oh and blue... oh and white. I possibly won't be accepting any lifts of her in the near future ;)

So it finally happened. Yesterday I turned 25.

So far I’ve spent 3/5 of my life in education.

2/5 in employment (the same company for all of that time)

1/5 Writing and hosting Bar Wars

I’ve spent 1/7 of my life in my current relationship

I’ve achieved a degree, a level three NVQ, 3 Alevels, 8 GCSE’s and a green swimming badge. (Never my strength – I had to be rescued from the pool during my lifesaving award!)

I’ve hosted my own radio show & appeared on The Big Breakfast.

I’ve DJ’d for Timmy Mallet and been Atomic Kitten’s Warm Up act.

I’ve been best man and had one of my cartoons published in the local paper.

I’ve ridden Nemesis, Air, Colossus, Inferno & The Big One all at the front in the dark.

And thanks to my girlfriend I can now experience freshly ground Starbucks Coffee in my own living room – thanks to the Burr Coffee Bean Grinder she bought me. Yummy.

Not bad for 25 years

Bookworm

Personally I find there is nothing better than a really good book. A page-turner that you really can’t put down. One that is so vivid it comes alive in your mind and takes you on a thrilling journey really involving you with the characters. But then comes the completion. You turn the last page and it ends. Usually the better the book the poorer the ending, though sometimes they do have good resolutions.

I have just finished reading the DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. According to the media it is the most exciting novel since Hogwarts School first opened its doors and I have to agree with them. The book is fantastic, a gripping Thriller that sees the two heroes on a race to evade capture from the French police for a crime they didn’t commit. Along the way they try and unravel the mystery of the Holy Grail and boy what a ride. Obviously the story and characters are fictional but if the research that Dan Brown has carried out into the Grail is true then it really could shatter the Catholic Faith. The problem is that the Davinci Code’s line between fact and fiction is very blurry.

It took me just two days to complete the novel – it was that good – but now I have a vacuum in my life. I hate it when you finish a great book. I was really enjoying getting stuck into it. Sure I’ve got plenty of other books to read but somehow they don’t seem as compelling. Part of me wants to trawl the net and see if I can find evidence for the conclusions in the Code. Try to find out if what elements of Brown’s tale is true but then what if I discover it really is all fiction, it would shatter the enjoyment of what I just read.

Anyway, trust me give into the media hype and find yourself a copy. It might just change the way you think…


The Mysterious Rosslyn Chapel - One of the key locations in the DaVinci Code

The Knights Templar - Guardians of The Grail?

A Year Of Blogging, A Page of Thoughts...

Oh yes, this is a new look to my Blog. As tomorrow sees the 1st anniversary of creating this site I thought it was in need of a spruce up. I’ve gone for a nice fresh blue – you like? So in the 365 days since the creation of this Blog I’m ashamed to say I’ve only managed to make just over 100 posts. Is my life really that interesting that only one third of it needs documenting?

I created this Blog in honour of my 24th Birthday. On Saturday I will be 25 and proud to say that despite a few lapses over Xmas and during a Spanish vacation last year I’ve surprised myself by keeping the Blog going. On the first post one year ago I announced a sweepstake to see how long it’d last. I definitely wouldn’t have won.

I want to better my Blogging in the next 365 days but that remains to be seen.

So if keeping a diary was my 24th Birthday ambition how will I improve my self to mark my 25th year? To be honest I’d love to possess more drive. I wouldn’t call myself lazy – just laid back. When I get into habits I find them very easy to keep – perhaps why I rarely rise before 10am and perhaps why I’m still doing the same job I’ve had since 17. (Well – I do have a bit more responsibility!) For instance I know – if I wanted to – I could break into radio. Problem is it involves travelling and promoting yourself and I just can’t find the time to do it. I loved my time on Hereford Local Radio and, if they’ll have me, can’t wait for a second stab later this year. I kid myself that two or three years down the line they’ll go full time and I’ll walk into a job there. Well this is possible and I hope it does become true but there is of course the small fact they have to obtain a full license from Ofcom – which others could also bid for and win. There’s also the fact that if they did go full time they’d want tried and tested jocks rather than some geezer who’s had a few RSL experiences.

A good friend of mine was at pains a few weeks ago to motivate me but it just didn’t work. I tend to shut off when people compliment me, I just consider myself an average guy and nothing special. There is a pang of jealousy that she’s made it but that jealousy is coated in a large amount of happiness for her. But if I know I could be there too why don’t I do it?

Well that’s what I want to do for the next year. Try out a second RSL, get some experience at hospital radio and then, perhaps in 365 days I could be writing blogs in a cosy little radio studio. Then again this computer chair is soooo comfy…

Gourmet Salty Snacks

When did crisps become posh? When I was little I remember summer evenings in beer gardens with my parents and the choice being simple – red green or blue (and if the pub stocked Walkers you’d end up with Salt ‘N’ Vinegar instead of the preferred Cheese ‘n’ Onion.)
Today I walked into the local paper shop to purchase said paper and lunchtime potato based snack. The choice was overwhelming. Not only did you have a choice of flavours but you also had the choice of a multitude of brands within brands. Pringles isn’t good enough you now have Pringles Dippas or Pringles Minis. Walkers aren’t good enough – you have to pick from regular, Max, Stax, Sensations, Potato Heads or now the new Nobby’s Chip Shop Range. There’s McCoys and McCoys specials – not mention McCoy’s Spice.
That’s just the brands – what about the flavours. Three simple ones isn’t good enough these days. In the 80s flavours diversified with Prawn Cocktail and Beef & Onion. In the 00’s you have Balsamic Vinegar, Rib-Eye Steak & Pepper, Thai Green Grass & Beansprout(!?) and Lamb & Mint Sauce. Where will this lunacy end? I’ve already seen Vanilla Flavour Monster Munch and have heard rumours of Chocolate flavour crisps.

Crisps are by far my favourite food products, if it wasn’t for them I’d be at least two stone lighter but please, oh please can this flavour lunacy end. I dread the day Walkers release Roast Llama and Pringles proudly display their Spicy Triceratops range…

Check out new flavours here!

Talking B*llocks

I was given the all clear today over the small lump that has decided to set up home in my scrotum. It is a weight off my mind as although you reassure yourself it won’t be serious you then start to ask yourself ‘why won’t it be serious.’ After all I’m not special, I’m just another human being why should I be immune to cancer just because I’m me? It is a human tendency to think ‘Oh it’ll never happen to me’ whether it is about illness, burglary, car accident etc. But why shouldn’t it? Even so I was happy to be told it was nothing harmless and I can, if I wish, have it removed. To be honest I quite fancy just leaving it – me and my lump. I’ll be like the opposite of Hitler.

What did make me laugh was the doctors comment as I left the clinic. He told me once again that it was up to me if I wanted it removed. “The ball is in your court,” he said, without even smirking. Was it unintentional? I don’t know but it had me giggling for the next half-hour.

Thirst Quenching

I had a Panda Pops today, remember those? Neon coloured drinks that only your school tuck shop seemed to sell. Weird flavours like bubble gum or blueberry. Today’s sample was “Grape & Apple” Th Nostalgic out there will be pleased to hear that in the 15 or so years since Panda Pops last passed my lips things haven’t changed – they still taste like shit.

My Life Is A Hollyoaks plot line.

It really is. Actually found it funny last week when one of the characters discovered the same thing I discovered before Christmas it’s just annoying that his Health service seems a lot quicker than mine!

While the Hollyoaks character seems to be taking things bad, I’m not. I have my test next week then I’m sure there will be more waiting which is the worst bit really.

Having an odd lump in an odd place is weird. You’d think you’d shit your self like Mr Hollyoaks is. (I don’t know the characters name as I can’t stand soaps but it is the one my girlfriend likes and to be fair there are attractive women in it so I find it easier to sit through than the disgrace to television that is Eastenders.) But I’m not scared. There’s no point worrying unless your GP says it’s serious which they haven’t yet. It could be a dozen other things so I’m not getting stressed yet. Even if the worst does come to the worst it has the highest success rate with, I believe, 95% of Testicular Cancer cases treatable.

Still, men if you’re reading this you must takes these things seriously. My doctor was actually thankful that I’d come as soon as I found it. She said how most blokes would ignore it until it did get serious then it could be too late. There's nothing to be embarassed about, they're doctors they've seen it all before!

Anyway I highly recommend this site;

Answers all your questions in a straight to the point no bollocks way. Which is funny as bollocks is exactly is what it’s about!


Oh well what's the life changing event from last week I hear you cry? Well I would love to have announced it today but it seems the deals off. So might have to wait a few weeks... *Evil Laugh*

Vinyl Envy

I envy my father. He comes from an era where a record collection was truely a record collection. Stacks and stacks of vinyl from 7-inch to 12-inch leading to the impressive display in the living room that I used to thumb through in my youth. Back then the names were unfamiliar, silly and strange. Now though I recognise them as music greats. The Temptaions, Howard Jones, Bee Gees, Taj Mahal. Gorgeous covers with a slightly musty smell.

Now record collections run the risk of being nothing more than a track list on your computer hard drive. A little grey (or pink or green) box you carry around with those oh so stylish white headphones. ( I refuse to wear those head phones. They’re actually very tinny and say quite freely to potential muggers ‘ohhh look I have an iPod.’)

A lot of my friends say I have an amazing record collection. “Wow you name it, you’ve got it.” At a gig last night a customer was really impressed saying he’d never seen such a variety. I am, however, reminded of the saying quality not quantity. This is where dad-envy comes in. You see my dad’s collection was a proper collection, artist albums. These days most collection are made up of compilation albums. It is often the easiest way to get music you want. Gone are the works of art that used to grace the cover, sure the covers are a lot smaller these days but now lack the striking collages of Sgt Pepper or the simple striking imagery of Dark Side Of The Moon. Instead you see the easy way out – photos of the artists and that’s about it.

When I’m older I will have, and already have, a very large CD collection. But I doubt it’ll evoke the same nostalgia as that of my dad’s.

Don't Go Changing....

The last week in February always seems fated to be life changing for me.

In 2000 it was the week that I first hosted my pub quiz. Five years ago I never imagined that I’d still be hosting it in 2005. It’s become part of my life now, out growing its ‘bit-of-fun-to-earn-me-money-while-I-complete-university’ and actually becoming something I look forward to weekly. Its my baby. Awww.

Also in the final week of February 2000 I was diagnosed with glandular fever – it hit me hard. I had to leave uni for two months and it took me a year to fully recover. It changed the way I looked on life. The night of March 1st 2000 was – to this day – the longest night I’ve experienced. I suffered an allergic reaction to the medication and had to put up with 24 hours of vomiting, sleeplessness (for some reason I became insomniac for that month) as well as three times during the night the Halls fire bell ringing. The entire population of 30 students had to evacuate each and every time. My the third time I was really in no fit state and was physically carried out by some friends – good job I was about 2 stone lighter in those days.

In February 2002 the final week brought the decision to quit teaching. I just knew I had to. It saw me returning to my old job, old city and old life – but also new happiness.

February 2004 saw me ready to quit the above job. I filled out an application for assistant manager of a new record/music shop. Something I’ve always fancied doing. I got to the front door of the shop ready to hand the form in but something told me the time wasn’t right. I did go into the shop – but chose to purchase a box set of the Toy Story films rather than attempt a change of career. I don’t why I made that decision but I’m gald I have – my current job will be getting a lot more interesting in the next 12 months.

So what did the final week of February 2005 bring? Well it’s the biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life. A decision I will inform you of another time….

Devon Guide - Day Two

Back in November I promised to write a guide to my week in Devon. Unfortunately after writing up Day One my hard drive died and I lost all my work. However I’ve decided now is time to try and carry on this look at our week down South.

On Day Two we left Exmouth again to journey to Paignton. I had visited this small town with my parents in 1995 and looked forward to returning. Our first stop was Paignton Zoo. I was sceptical at first, the last Zoo visit with my girlfriend had been a sheer disappointment however Paignton Zoo was far far superior. The animal enclosures were large and sprawling with good viewing areas. The animals seemed happy and there was plenty of information dotted around the park. The park itsself was modern and tranquil, a haven for wildlife and a novel approach to exhibiting the wildlife meant you could actually walk through some enclosures.





The zoo was established in 1923 and in the last 10 years has changed dramatically to display animals and plant-life in six different naturalistic habitat areas. What also amazed me were some houses that backed right on to the zoo. How amazing must it be to throw open your bedroom curtains every morning to be greeted by grazing camels or the chatter of monkeys!

Following our Zoo tour we journeyed into Paignton. It seems my childhood memories of a sunny smiley seaside town were somewhat hazy. We were greeted with a grey dreary rundown town. The main street I remembered as a parade of shops topped of by a railway cutting past Woolworths turned out to be row upon row of tacky novelty shops. When I was 15 it seemed cool to have a train blocking the top of the road every ten minutes. Now it seemed an annoyance. We trekked through the town and found the watering hole, The Inn On The Green, that I fondly remembered utilising with my parents. Sadly they didn’t serve afternoon meals so hunger forced us to the nearest KFC.






As the skies open and fatigue from the long walk around the Zoo took a hold we decided to head back to Exmouth. A flash of inspiration halfway home found us journeying into Exeter in search of the Megabowl. We spent a fun hour bowling in a very nice bowling centre before returning to the hotel for a boozy evening in the bar.

Birthdays...

Happy birthday today goes to my girlfriend, Jenny! Much love to you, but why oh why so close to St Valentines! Grrr!

Randomness

Please, please, please for my own sanity when you knock down all the pins on your first bowl it is called a Strike. When you do it on your second ball it is a spare. It is not, never will be and never has been an 'half-strike'. Got that? Good. Oh and please stop dumping your stinking shoes on front of the reception desk right in front of my nose - put them on the side of the desk, yes that's right the side. Next to that sign that says 'please return shoes HERE.'

Life would be so much simpler would that customers follow these two simple rules.


Oh and today - good news I finally made my own Mocha that tasted equal with that of Starbucks. Perhaps my Irn Bru cold turkey will be easier to handle.

Barrs Barred

There has been an ironically cruel twist of fate…

The company that supplies mine with its Irn Bru announced this week it will ‘de-list’ the product when its current stock runs out. This means, in turn we will no longer be stocking Irn Bru!! Arrrgh!

One of the technicians, another manager and I are the only ones bothered by the situation. We want to start a revolution (ironically the name of the ride Irn Bru sponsors at Black pool Pleasure Beach - the same ride that famous Jim'll Fix It was carried out on for a group of cub scouts!) but it seems we are being punished for such thoughts. Oh well as long as Tesco doesn’t decide to end sales of Irn Bru I suppose I will have to suffice.


Dumb Question Of The Week;
Perhaps you had to be there but I did have an embarrassing fit of the giggles upon my weekly KFC visit today. A customer came in walked straight up to the counter and asked. “Can I have some chicken please?” The look upon the staff members face was priceless and the look that only a restaurant which sells nothing but chicken could give in return to said request.

It's about time...

 

Yes I am still upset about Enterprise being cancelled but as one visitor pointed out I should be happy that the other great Science Fiction franchise is returning this year. Yes in Mid-March Dr. Who returns to our screens, and how cool do the Daleks look! It's like Pimp My Robot with all that bling!

 

Boldly Gone...

It really is the end of an era – especially, if like me, you’re a Trekker.

Yesterday it was announced that Star Trek: Enterprise will be finishing at the end of this, its fourth season. Okay, that’s not so bad. Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager all finished. What’s worrying is that this time as Enterprise finishes nothing will replace it. It is the first time since 1987 that no new televisual Star Trek will be in production. That’s 17 years and over 620 episodes coming to an end.

Part of me is glad. In the last few years the franchise has been looking tired and Nemesis, in my view, is one of the worst Trek films. It is the fact that I’ve been following the voyages of the Enterprise, Voyager and Defiant since I was 7 means that it’s going to seem like a void not to have a regular dose of new episodes. Yes I have the DVDs and I will relish the opportunity to really get to know the old episodes as I don’t have to worry about keeping up to date and despite a certain amount of relief that the tired voyages of Captain Archer have now ended I’m already anticipating the time that Paramount announce the return of Star Trek.

Live Long & Prosper.

Reviewing The Fockers

I’d been looking forward to Meet The Fockers for sometime. The first film, Meet The Parents, was thoroughly enjoyable and after numerous DVD rewatches I was highly anticipating the sequel. It was great to see the characters in a fresh story but sadly it didn’t seem as pleasant as the original. The pace slower and there seemed to be a lot of missed opportunity. Also there was the introduction of Jack’s grandson. While he had mild comic value the youngster soon started to grate through overuse. Why does Hollywood feel the need for cute kids in films and TV shows?

Gaylords parents, played by Dustin Hoffman & Barbara Streisand were brilliant – in fact all the acting was great it’s just the film seemed slow and overlong. Also it seemed to lack a purpose with the movie stopping rather than ending. I hope the rumoured part three, ‘Little Fockers’, never materialises as it will serve to only further dilute what was a wonderful original.