Saturday, January 29, 2005

A Storm Bruing

My plan to boost Irn Bru to the status of a truly recognised soft drink may have been thwarted last night. Not only is our soda fountain malfunctioning at work meaning the rivers of Bru have run dry but I have also discovered the taste of brand new Pepsi Max twist. It’s the brown stuff infused with Lemon & Lime and it’s very, very yummy.

Sorry Barrs, you’re on your own...

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Let's Stamp Out Drinkism

After just sampling KFC yummy mini-fillet I decided I wanted a drink. Sadly like all other fast food boutiques unless you like brown stuff or clear stuff you don’t have much choice in the liquid refreshment area. Quite frankly I have had enough. I think it is time we united and started a soft drink cause. The aim? To get the lurid glowing orange liquid, made in Scotland from Girders, known as Irn Bru the recognition it deserves. In Scotland it is a recognised hang over cure. In Russia it is one of the most popular soft drinks yet in England it seems to lag. Yes it may be full of sugar and yes it may be an unnatural colour but it is also very refreshing and, I feel, would go will with fast food meals in golden arches and finger licking good joints around the country.

It’s not only Fast Food that snubs this great drink. Pubs don’t offer it on their hideous drink guns (which always seem to alter the taste of your favourite brands) and supermarkets seem almost embarrassed to sell it. Rows upon rows of the dark brown liquid and just six or so bottles of Irn Bru hidden away at the end of the shelf. Even the Government once shunned Irn Bru. During World War 2, Irn Bru was not recognised as a "standard drink" by the Government, so disappeared from the shelves of shops for the duration of the war.

I’m proud to say that my constant pestering of my bar manager finally convinced them to stock it where I work – which has made my lunch breaks a happier time. Do you know what? It’s selling better than the clear liquid, 1 up from 6 that it replaced!

So Irn Bru fans unite, the movement starts here!

Some more Irn Bru Facts

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Celebrating A Life

A sad week this week – Just over a week ago my girlfriend received the awful news that her gran had died. Thursday just gone we buried her. Attending the funeral was fascinating for me. I’ll openly say I have no personal interest in religion but to experience my first ever Catholic service I’m glad to say I quite enjoyed – despite the sombre occasion.

Firstly the church was stunning, though I’m not a big fan of religion I do admire its architecture. It was a large church with ugly large grey blocks on the outside, what made it stand out was it’s huge domed roof. Inside it was gleaming white walls with the dome a stunning rich blue with a few golden stars. There was marble everywhere, and, unlike a lot of churches it was warm and welcoming.

Secondly the service was personal. It is only my second funeral but I’ve heard horror stories of clergymen preaching the bible rather than celebrate the life of whom the congregation are meant to be mourning. No the service was a lot more personal and I felt closer to ‘grannie’ thanks to it.

The burial was the tear jerking moment. Seeing my girlfriend & her family so upset was painful and led to my eyes watering – though this may have also been brought on by one of the coffin bearers just escaping slipping 6ft under.

There was also the Vicar’s overuse of the word ‘dust’ which just had me thinking of Little Britain’s Fat Fighting classes. (Don’t worry I kept that to myself, well until now..)
Finally the Wake, which took place at the school the dearly departed had founded. Again it was perfect with family members laughing, joking and sharing happy memories – how it should be.
It’s scary though how funerals make you realise how little time you have on this planet but if can achieve even half as much as ‘grannie’ did in her life I will be a happy man.

Sunday, January 09, 2005


What was the advertising copyrighter thinking when they thought – I know, Diet Coke…. Turtle. Diet Coke Turtle. Seriously what is the link? Next we’ll have porcupine’s advertising cheese and Black and Decker drills being advertised by elephants.


Thursday, January 06, 2005

The Coolest Girl...

Becky is the coolest girl in the world.

Well I had to post something didn't I, and that was her suggestion. I will however do a more expanded update ASAP, so don't worry I haven't collapsed into a gutter of the festive period!