Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Slow, Slow, Quick Quick, Slow

I have decided to enter politics. I am going to set up my own party and hinge my manifesto around one policy. I want to revolutionise the country’s pavements.

I consider myself quite a quick walker, I am one of the few 20somethings that can’t drive and to be honest has no interest in driving. The look of shock I get when people discover this is quite amusing. “But how do you get about?” many people ask.
“I have these amazing things called legs,” I reply.
One girl last week, my boss’ daughter, looked amazed as I told her I walked home every day from work. “It’s only a 10 minute walk,” I told her. “10 MINUTES” she gasped, “bt isn’t there like a bus or summit?” (Teenagers these days even seem to talk in text speak.)

Yesterday I decided to set off for work earlier than normal. It was so nice and sunny I decided that I wanted to walk at a more leisurely pace so as to enjoy the weather & the view. Soon I came across a problem. Even at my ‘slow’ pace I got stuck behind a slower moving vehicle – three old biddies blocking the pavement moving at a arthritic snails pace. To top it off they were the most evil of types – the ones that suddenly stop without warning leaving me to bump into them. Eventually I performed an overtaking manoeuvre as luckily there was a long straight and no traffic coming the other way. Another five minutes on and I get stuck behind another slow moving vehicle. A young mum with a pushchair and toddler in hand.

So this is my manifesto. All main pavements should be revamped and structured like motorways. A hard shoulder for those that breakdown – suddenly stopping without warning to prevent people behind crashing into them. A lane for slow moving window shoppers, A quick moving lane and a lane for overtaking.

At last I could get from A to B without having to navigate an obstacle course of biddies, skaters, (sorry sk8ters) toddlers & pushchairs.

Number 10 here I come.

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