Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Why on earth would you want to phone a bowling centre at 10.51pm to book a lane for the following afternoon? What possible idea must you have in your head while most of the public are thinking of a nice mug of coco and a snugly duvet?

Why do you pick up the menu and read it through where it clearly tells you order at the bar before then asking staff where to order?

Why do you ask if you can book 10 people in to bowl ASAP... for April 7th 2008?

Why do you bowl two balls at once down a lane thinking you’re hilarious when actually all you’re doing is damaging the machine?

Why do you put your stinking smelling shoes right in front of my face when you have to walk past a sign telling you to put your shoes at the end of the desk to get to me - at the other end...

Why do you tap a coin for attention on the reception desk when I’m clearly on the phone dealing with another customer?

Why, when you phone to book a lane, do you sound so surprised that we ask you to name a date and then proceed to have a lengthy discussion with your spouse about time and date. Wouldn’t it make more sense to do that beforehand?

We do you think you are a comedy God by asking for size 19 shoes. We’ve now heard that amazingly original witty line roughly 45,876 times in the last ten years. It wasn’t even funny the first time.

Why when were taking food to your table do you ask ‘oh, what about the fries I ordered’ - when I clearly have both hands full with the rest of your order. You then seem amazed that I might possibly be making two trips.

Why, despite our oversized banner proclaiming live football here do you ask if we are screening the match?

Why do you spend about ten minutes trying on three different pairs of shoes that ultimately you’re only going to wear for an hour? This isn’t Clarke’s, does it matter that they are slightly loose or that the stitching on one side has come undone?

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