Strictly Crap TV

Why is it that for every cracking, well-produced piece of Television there are another 20 pieces of absolute guff. For every Life On Mars or Doctor Who there’s 20 different soaps or property shows and for every Spooks or Teachers there’s a reality show or, the latest worrying trend celebrity talent shows.

Think of all the thought that must go into a fine piece of drama. Compare that with the sheer simplicity of coming up with Celebrity Talent Shows. I could do it:

Strictly Stand Up – just in time for the next Red Nose Day 10 celebs compete over a number of weeks to have the funniest stand up routine. They are trained by masters such as Eddie Izzard or Peter Kay and have to write a routine to random subject every week.

Fast Food Frenzy – Celebs have to knock up a mouth-watering dish each week under the watchful eyes of expert chefs. One week it will be Italian cuisine the next Chinese.

Strictly Come Cleaning – Kim and Aggie preside over the show where celebrity teams run home cleaning services. Each week they battle it out over who can give their house the best sparkle.

‘You Spin Me Round’ – 6 Celebs, each with a famous DJ. They have a half hour set to entertain the crowds at a different club each week with the finale being a whole party Djing event at someones birthday or wedding.


And for the channel five market:

Strictly Come. I think you can guess what happens here…

P.S. All these ideas are Strictly Copyright smeg_head 2006. Royalties please….